The Best is Yet to Come

Yesterday I wrote about putting up a monument for God and lately God's been showing me that I should reflect on the things that he's done in my life, the miracles he's performed and how far I've come. Sadly, while reflecting on these awesome moments in my life I felt hopeless. I've felt like I've already peaked and I'm just on my way out with nothing to look forward to. Approaching my graduation date, I don't want to leave college because it has been the best time of my life. Suffice it to say, I've been a bit nastalgic and unwilling to face the days to come. I prayed yesterday that my life would daily step closer to God and that I would reach the relationship that I once had with him. So I've thought a lot about what I did in the past and how I grew closer to God. This morning my awesome, powerful and wonderous God gave an answer during the 11:00 service @ church (NewSpring).

Ironically, this morning, Perry talked about how God is moving in amazing ways and that our best days are yet to come. He spoke from Exodus about the attitude of the Israelites and their relationship with God. He led them out of slavery, equipped them for life in the dessert, and led them by a pillar of clouds in the day and a pillar of fire at night. He didn't take them directly to their desination, but he took them by the way that he knew best. He loved his children, just as he loves me. He wants to do great things in my life, even after I've slipped, he loves me and he wants to see great things in my life. He wants to lead me to the promised land--an abundant life, serving him. If you want to pray for me, please pray that God would keep my feet on his path, that he would strengthen me, and that I would have an unquenchable desire to know him more and serve him selflessly. Also pray that I would not be distracted because when God moves, Satan moves to take our eyes off of Jesus. Pray that my eyes are captivated by the beauty of his face and that I would not come down from the wall (if you don't get that reference, check out Nehemiah...it's a pretty baller book). I'll leave you with a little hope from the Godbreathed lyrics of MercyMe's Hold Fast

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let goI
promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strifeI
s His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here it comes fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing stronger than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast
Help is on the way
So hold fast He's come to safe the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
To hold fast

A Pile of Stones

In the Bible, in some instances, people would pile up stones as a marker of remembrance of a miracle of God. This enabled the people, when others passed by and asked about the marker, to give glory to God. I'd like to pile up some stones today, even though my miracle is small. Lately I've experienced great unrest and confusion. I've felt like the real world is approaching at the speed of light to crush me with the fist of fear and failure. I've allowed this overwhelming notion to take my eyes off of God and it has affected the remainder of my life; which easily happens when God is not your focus. I had fallen down the slippery slope.
Today God taught me an awesome lesson. When you slip and take your eyes of off him, you can't just expect to leap right back onto the straight and narrow. You have to climb out, one step at a time, with your eyes on him and your hand in his.
He gave me a great victory today. I trusted him with something little and he blew me away with his swift and loving answer. It feels good to take one step closer to God.
I look foward to piling up a lot more stones.

Challenge

Lately I've felt like there was more to life than what I was accepting. The devotion I get everyday through email from Proverbs 31 ministries really got my attention and made me realize just what my purpose is and that when my eyes are on my Lord and Savior then the little things in life lose their power over me and the greater purpose gives me great hope and joy. Check out what God shared with me this morning:

Honoring God with Your Life
By Marybeth Whalen

“It never occurs to them to say, ‘How can we honor our God with our lives, The God who gives rain in both spring and autumn and maintains the rhythm of the seasons.” Jeremiah 5:24 (NIV)

Devotion:
Last night God brought a little boy to my mind. This little boy is nothing special. He has never been on the front page of a newspaper or achieved a world record. No one recognizes his name; he isn’t a celebrity by the world’s standards. And yet, he was on my mind last night, though I’ve never met him personally. I just know about him because I read something his mother wrote years ago.

At about eight years-old, he felt burdened to start a cookie ministry for elderly people, new neighbors, and others in his life. And so, each week this little boy would make a big batch of Snickerdoodle cookies (I still remember what kind because they sounded so good), divide them into packages, pile them in his wagon and deliver them to whoever was on his list for that week. He would visit with the people and sometimes share a verse or prayer with them and be on his way. Some people heard about what he was doing and donated money to pay for the ingredients in his cookies, and he enjoyed having his very own ministry at a young age.

It has been many years since I read that, and I imagine that little boy is a young man now. I don’t have any idea what he is doing, but something tells me that he is still finding creative ways to honor God with his life. As I thought of him last night, I was struck by how flimsy my excuses must sound for not being more purposeful about ministering to others. What keeps me from reaching out to those around me—the hurting, the grieving, the sick, or the hopeless? What makes me shrug my shoulders and walk away? Why does a little boy’s cookie ministry matter? Because he used what he had and he did what he could. And I know I could stand to do the same.

We are supposed to honor God with our lives. And yet, we have a million reasons for not doing so. Money, time, and resource constraints are popular excuses—and yet, this little boy was bound by the same things. I know that even if I just bake a loaf of banana bread and take it to someone that God puts on my heart, then that is honoring God with my life. Sometimes it is in the simplest of acts that we make the biggest impact. Instead of making excuses and leaving ministry to other people, I can set out to do what I can with what I have.

Many years later this young man’s cookie ministry has served to inspire a busy woman to honor God with her life. He has no idea how impacting his example was on me. I hope he has inspired you as well.

Dear Lord, help me to act on the things You lay on my heart and not make excuses or feel silly or inadequate. Help me to see the bigger picture in the little things You call us to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God is Mighty to Save

May the beauty of salvation embrace you, may your need for Christ capture you, and may the power of the Cross overwhelm you.

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the mysterious array of black filing cabinets. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked “Lust,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Of Men, or of God?

I've noticed lately that I worry a lot about the opinions of others. I am consumed by worry sometimes wondering if something I've done is good enough or if something I said was wrong and I constantly seek the approval of others. Not until last night, in light of this beautiful holiday, did I realize that worrying about the opinion of others is SO futile.

My honey sent me this verse last night, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."--Galations 1:10

**Side note: Speaking of my honey, he's blogging now! Check out his blog @ http://www.sweetwilliet.blogspot.com/ . (Yes, it says sweet willie T)

Back to what Jesus is doing in my life...I must admit that after I read his text, I was uber convicted. I didn't sleep very well last night battling worry. Praise this Lord that this morning I was a lot less stressed about the upcoming (in just a few hours) Christmas meal with my rents and future inlaws.

What God showed me this morning is that the reason we celebrate today is not about how great the gifts are or what the meal is like. It's all about the fact that Jesus was born and that we get to go to heaven because He lived, died, and rose again. Who cares if the soup is good or if someone already has the present you bought them? We get to spend eternity in heaven because God sent his son into this world that we might be saved. Why should I worry about what others think when the creator of the universe loved me enough to send his son to die so that I could hang out with him for the rest of eternity?

Are you trying to win the approval of men, or of God?

Texas

If you don't see posts for a while, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my blog. I'm going to be in Texas visiting the future fam from Saturday until the 22nd. Feel free to leave me some lovin! PEACE

101--my 3rd post today.

I'm a loser. This is my third post today. What else am I supposed to do when I'm sick?! Huh?!

Ok...so when I say something funny, I have to share it with the world, b/c it doesn't happen that often. My friend Allie said that I didn't have the teacher look b/c I wasn't wearing those vests with numbers and letters on them and I made her promise me that she would not let me become frumpy when I student teach next semester...then came the funny thing I said. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO FRUMP!!" I think it was funny. It might not be all that funny to you, but I made myself laugh...and laughter is the best medicine, which reminds me it's time for my meds. I'm going to kill this schtinkind cold before I go to Texas.

Oh btw...I'm going to Texas this Saturday to see Will's family. I'm sure I will post some videos from my new camera when I return! auf vida sin

The Centennial Post

This my 100th post on this blog! HOW COOL IS THAT?! I so enjoy blogging, not just for the sheer joy of writing, but for the sheer joy of sharing what God is doing in my life and what he is teaching me. The point I want to make with this particular post is this.

Anything good, any good fruit that comes from me is not of myself, but of Christ who lives in me. Without him, I am a wretched heart, living only for myself. With him, I am a changed woman, a selfless lover of the hopeless. If you just happen on this blog and wonder what kind of crazy I've been smoking, I've been infused with the Holy Spirit and I have more joy in my savior Jesus Christ now that I ever did in the 19 years of my life before I really KNEW him.

I'll leave you with this

"For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
--II Corinthians 4:6-7

I love me when I am merely his jar of clay.

Little by Little

Mainstay "Become Who You Are"

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz you said that I would never want for anything again
But my eyes are set low
and I'm holding to the thing I know I can't keep

I keep on chasing the wrong things
and coming up empty
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake
And I'm finding each time that you fall,
you're just becoming who you are

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz I keep on searching for the answers that I don't need
I know I don't need

Mmmm...there is so much truth in those lyrics. Everytime I chase something that is away from the will of God, I come up empty and wanting more. When I am in the middle of the will of God, looking to him to fill me, I could never want for me. That's something hard for me to chew on. When I am not satisfied, I am not in the will of God. When I desire more, I am not following my Lord and savior. Man...that's hard, but AMAZING.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Something else God is teaching me, when we are saved, not everything is changed all at once. I listened to sermon from Elevation church last night from their "Confessions of a Pastor" Seris. This particular sermon was about committing the same sins over and over again and Pastor Steven Furtick read the following scripture:

You may say to yourselves, "These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?" But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. Moreover, the LORD your God will send the hornet among them until even the survivors who hide from you have perished. Do not be terrified by them, for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God. The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.
--Deuteronomy 7:17-22

I thought that my sin was stronger than me. With this passage God showed me that He is SO much bigger than my sin and he will drive it out if I allow him to. It will not be all at once, because if I reach perfection I would not need Jesus in my life, but little by little he will send the hornets and kill the sin in my life. Don't be discouraged if you struggle with this, too. The Lord your God is perfecting you little by little. Look to him to conquer your sins. You can't do it by yourself.

Sick

Pray for me. I'm pretty sick. I have a sinus infection from hades. Pray that God uses this time that I have to be still to speak to my heart and renew my affection for him.

Something's Missing

I feel like I haven't spoke to Will very much in the past few days. We saw each other tonight for dinner with my parents and that didn't even last an hour. I'm used to having at least 30 minutes to talk with him each day and for the past few days it's been maybe 5 because of my exams and his last week of class before exams. I miss my man. REALLY bad. Ha, quite honestly a little tear is rolling down my cheek right now. (Geez, I'm a sap) But the way I feel about Will tonight got me to thinking about other things.
How does God feel when we don't spend time with him? How does his heart ache? Does he shed a tear or two when he is missing us? Just something I'm pondering on.

A Childlike Priest

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.'" Matthew 18:1-5

Jesus calls us to be like little children. He even says that we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven if we are not like them. What exactly does he mean by that? For a very long time I have been perplexed by this scripture, but today I believe that my loving future husband and priest taught me this, unbeknownst to him.

Quite honestly there are times when I look at Will and I wish that he would just act his age. I wish that he would quit goofing off and face the issue at hand instead of joking around and making light of it. I laughed out loud as I wrote that b/c I can just imagine his beautiful smile when he knows I'm angry and he wants to make me laugh (even though that usually makes me more angry at the time). Today after church, we were goofing off and I caught myself getting frustrated because I wanted him to be serious and I said, "Man, we are going to have kids just like this." And that's when it hit me. I didn't say anything to him about this God given revelation, but I just studied him the rest of the time we were together. He laughed things off. He found joy in everything. He looked at everything around him with wonder and did everything he could to help me lighten up. Lately I've realized that I've been acting like a bitter old woman. I haven't lived like a child, full of wonder and letting the little annoying things go unnoticed. Instead, the little things have struck me and taken a little piece of joy and a little piece of youth each time.

Today Will really acted as my priest without even realizing it. In Proverbs 31, a godly woman is described as being able to laugh at the days to come. Thanks to the loving, amazing man in my life, I am now learning how to laugh at the days to come and take the little things in stride. Praise God for a man who knows how to be a child.

Disclaimer: I'm not condoning immaturity. There is a time and place for sincerity and there are situations that are not laughable, but because life is fleeting, the rest should be enjoyed and experienced in awe--like a child.