Eyes on the Creator

Busy but Blessed

2008-09-21T21:45:00.003-04:00

Teaching and coaching brings a WHOLE lot of "busy"...but the Lord continues to move in my life and teach me SO much. I just finished reading The Shack by William P. Young and I have to say that I LOVE that book. The Lord did so much in my life as I read. I truly felt the Lord speaking to me and healing things deep within my heart that I didn't even realize existed.

I FINALLY get what it means to have a RELATIONSHIP with God. It's not about what I do, it's not about rituals and steps and performance...it's all about a RELATIONSHIP--constantly relating and depending on the Lord for ALL things. I've got a long way to go to learn how to truly let go of my control and allow the Lord to draw me into TRUE relationship with him.

How do you define relationship? That's another question I am searching out. It's a lot to take in, but I praise God that he is still moving in me and working to teach me SO much about him. Relationship with the God of the universe means constantly being a student...and I LOVE IT!

My plea...

2008-07-14T12:51:00.001-04:00

give them something eternal, not temporary.

Holy Spirit?

2008-07-11T09:05:00.002-04:00

Here lately I have had this desperate hunger to learn more about the Holy Spirit and just what his role is in this whole scheme of things. The more I study the more I am blown away by the fact that the Holy Spirit is the power of God in us. If you don't have confidence in yourself...that's okay. Our good works are like filthy rags compared to the works of our Father in heaven. SO...if the Holy Spirit places God's power within us...imagine what we could do FOR HIM and THROUGH HIM! WOW!

We may have limitations on what we believe we are capable of...but are we putting limits on God?

I'll leave you with some words from Jesus in John 14.

Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."--John 14:11-21

Leadership

2008-07-08T22:17:00.002-04:00

If you had the opportunity to ask your pastor one question about leadership, what would it be?
Lately, God has been teaching me so much about the role of the Holy Spirit in my life. I really want to ask my pastor, what role does the Holy Spirit play in your leadership?

But that question seems so simple. It seems like it could be answer with a simple response. I just feel like that is the question burning in my heart. I know that the response will most likely be, "The Holy Spirit guides me." But I pray it digs a little deeper than that and I learn more about what the Holy Spirit is doing in me.

Miracles?

2008-07-07T18:00:00.002-04:00

This video explains what God is doing in my life right now. I pray that the kingdom is infectious and that God is glorified.

Vision...

2008-07-01T12:35:00.003-04:00

On Sunday Perry preached a bold and powerful message about having an effective prayer life and being an effective Christian. He challenged us to pray and ask God to show us why we were created, to ask God to allow us to see as he sees, and to ask him what our next step is to walk in His will. I've been praying those three things since Sunday and God is already rocking my world.
Honestly, since I've been interning at NewSpring this summer I've been really questioning my call to teach middle school. After working for such an amazing church, with constant vision and constant encouragement, it is hard imagine going back to work in a place that drains life. Not to say that the school I will be teaching at is bad, it is an awesome school, but the demands that are put on teachers in general are stretching...and every teacher is stretched--hoping for survival, no time to pour out encouragement to others.
But, God is stirring some awesome vision in me. I realize now that I am questioning my calling because I am comfortable. My needs are being met, and my cup is overflowing without much effort. It's time that I step outside of this comfort zone and listen to what God has for me...rather than resting on my assets.
I can't help but notice the pain and emptiness in the middle school age children today. Among young people aged 10-14 years, the suicide rate has doubled in the last two decades. I cannot get this fact out of my mind. They are hurting. What is it that they need?
Around 70% of these children are growing up in broken homes. What does this mean? What does filling this need look like? What is it that I need to do to love these kids. I have to do more than teach 7th grade English. Yes, I will encounter around 110 kids a day, ages 12-14...yes, I can give them my love and support. But what more can I do. I feel like I can do more. But what does that look like? I want to fill this need in the name of Jesus. But how do I do it?
It's easy to feed the hungry and clothe the naked...but how do you love a teenager?

In Jesus Name

2008-06-26T08:28:00.002-04:00

"And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."--John 14:13-14

How many times have I ended my prayers with this, nonchalantly. Honestly, before today, I didn't realize the power and the seriousness of this statement at the end of my prayers. In search of the answer, I found this brief snippet on a website that hit what God spoke to my heart as I prayed through these verses this morning.

Some mistakenly apply this verse [John 14:14]believing that saying “In Jesus’ name” at the end of a prayer results in God always granting what is asked for. This is essentially treating the words “in Jesus’ name” as a magic formula. This is absolutely unbiblical!

Praying in Jesus’ name means praying with His authority and asking God the Father to act upon our prayers because we come in the name of His Son, Jesus.

Praying in Jesus' name means the same thing as praying according to the will of God, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15). Praying in Jesus’ name is praying for things that will honor and glorify Jesus.

Maybe this is an elementary truth that I just caught on to, but man...it radically changed the way that I looked at my prayers this morning, before I stamped Jesus' name to it. Before I said amen, I thought back through what I had said to God. Did I feel comfortable attaching Jesus' name to it? Did I feel comfortable going to the creator of the universe with te authority of the son he sent to die on the cross for the salvation of the world? Mmmm...a little heavy for 8:30 am...but I love it when God speaks.

...more later--gotta go to work.

STOKED...

2008-06-23T16:42:00.000-04:00

OUT OF MY MIND. Just got out of my first staff meeting as a NewSpring intern and I am completely excited about what God is about to do in HIS church. Get ready for some of God's bigness! It's coming in waves! Perry's gonna be back on stage, live this Sunday. My prayer is that God prepares our hearts like crazy!

WOW

Just Ask

2008-06-23T15:07:00.002-04:00

God is teaching me to see him in everything. I pray that he opens my eyes so that I can clearly see what he is trying to teach me in every situation. This morning I was super sick to my stomach because of some medicine I am taking and I hated to wake him up but I asked him if he would please go and get me some water and a cold wash cloth. He hopped up in a snap and was back before I knew it. Just what I needed. About an hour later I woke up again, still in pain--about to barf--and hated to wake him up AGAIN...but I did because I was SO sick and asked him to bring me some crackers. Again, he got up and immediately went to help me. When I woke up feeling much better at about 7:30 he kissed me on the forhead and went off to work. Later, he sent me an email saying how much he loved the fact that I let him help me.

My husband is human, and I know that he loves me so very much...but if he is willing to help me that way...how much more is my father in heaven willing to help if I will just ask.

Don't try to take it all on yourself. God is ready to help...if you will only ask.

John 17:20-24

2008-06-22T19:02:00.003-04:00

What if...what if all of the Christians in the world actually joined together to fufill Christ's prayer in John 17:20-24

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

What if the Church, became ONE?! Today in this week's sermon from our series One Prayer (to learn more, go here ). Craig Groeshel spoke a message to HUNDREDS of churches around the world via video about the possibilities if he could have one prayer...for the church to become one--to actually become the body of Christ.

World hunger would end this week, poverty could be a thing of the past, and he went on to say some amazing things could happen...but if you think about it...if EACH Christian did as Christ commanded us to do, if we joined together as ONE body (FORGET DENOMINATIONS FORGET DIFFERENCES) and did as Christ called us to do...we could show the rest of the world just how BIG our God is! Not that he needs us for that...BUT STILL!

My prayer is that God will show me what my part looks like in this. What can I do to make this happen? How do you feel about it? Do you think that it is possible for the church to become one?

The "In-Between"

2008-06-19T09:05:00.002-04:00

Hold on to me, hold on
Hold on to me, yeah
Please don't let me go no, no, hold on
'Cause I am prone to wonder
Prone to leave this faith I know
Hold on
And now they say that the wise man
Well, he fears the Lord
And this fear, well, it's the beginning of all wisdom
And I must be a fool
'Cause I sure don't seem to fear You
'Cause the very things that You will me to do
Well, I just don't seem to get around to
The very things that You hate
Are the very things that I always stumble into
Hold on
--"Hold On" by Shawn McDonald

Have you ever listened to a song and you knew the words and just kinda sang your way through it every time it came up on your play list...you know, that song between your two very FAVORITE songs that you listen to just to get to the next one? Well, I finally listened to the words of this in-between-song and it just rocked my world. How many times to we treat scripture this same way. We just breeze through our quiet time digging for something that holds meaning...missing the words of our God that if we take the time to listen, will mean something? Just a thought.

Eyes on ME

2008-06-18T21:21:00.002-04:00

Has God ever just broken your heart for something? Has he ever just humbled you and taught you so much you felt like your brain might explode. Well, that's how I feel right now. Tonight while Brad was speaking at youth I got hit with something that sort of sums up all that God is teaching me right now. Brad said something along these lines...all too often we lose sight of our God, the creator of the universe, to focus on the created.
There was a time in my life where I saw God in everything, from learning to wakeboard to the stinking juniper that I had to pull up working for my dad. There was a time when I had my eyes on the creator. Lately God's gently had his hand under my chin, turning my face toward him. So gently that I didn't even realize it until tonight.
My soul craves my God.
What does your soul crave?

I wish they would have told me...

2008-06-18T11:52:00.003-04:00

Do you ever read or hear something and you think, "MAN...I wish someone would have told me this _______ years ago." I"m currently reading Erwin McManus' Soul Cravings and this quote just dug deep into my heart and pained me for who I used to be.

"The most powerful evidence that our souls crave God is that within us there is a longing for love."

In high school and my first two years of college I was constantly "in need" of a boyfriend, a group of friends, a place to belong. I couldn't stand to be alone. Then when I got saved during my sophomore of college, a deep, insatiable thirst for belonging seemed to be filled in such a miraculous way. I began to see that love that I received from the people around me as Jesus in the flesh, the body of Christ loving on me.

But I wish someone would have told me sooner. I wouldn't have given myself away the way that I did. I would have sought God's love rather than the world's definition of love a lot sooner and avoided a lot of mistakes...

BUT

I wouldn't be who I am today. And for that, I am thankful. I am thankful for who I am in this moment because I am a child of God--and SO blessed, because of HIS perfect plan.

FIVE DAYS!!!

2008-05-27T09:02:00.002-04:00

I am getting married in 5 days! FIVE DAYS!!!!!!! My prayer right now is that God turns up the heat and works in my heart to prepare me to be the helper that he has created me to be for my soon to be husband. I am going to be Megan Stafford...in 5 days. I can hardly believe it. Please pray for our marriage to just beam with glory for God. We know that is the purpose of our marriage. Sorry my thoughts seemed so scattered. I'm pretty stinkin stoked!

God's Rockin' Awesomeness!

2008-05-22T10:08:00.004-04:00

I haven't been a Christ follower very long (about 3 years) but usually by now, even young Christians have lead someone to Christ. I mean, I have been a youth leader for almost as long as I have been saved, but the only times I have lead someone in the sinner's prayer was after someone else had done the leg work. I know some reading this may think..."You did do your part, someone else planted a seed and you helped it flower." But God has just been challenging me lately to share the gospel and salvation. So, last night during the service @ Student Ministry, God just starting working in my heart telling me what I was supposed to talk about during small groups. He showed me that I was supposed to define sin, explain what a life without Jesus was like, have some of my girls share their testimony. Then he lowered the boom and told me exactly WHO was going to get saved. I wanted to weep and I wanted to shout. It was the craziest feeling ever. Then on the way to small groups God told me that the girl that was going to get saved didn't have a Bible, so I picked up one on the way. So I got to small groups, made a little small talk and then God just starting doing his thing. I just stepped back and hid behind the cross for a while. It was SO amazing how he spoke so much truth through me--I was blown away. Then, he showed me to have the girls close their eyes and raise their hand if they wanted to accept Christ. Not only did the girl that he showed me accept him, but a girl from the school that I teach at that has been coming to church with me for the past few weeks also accepted Christ. When they opened their eyes I told them that a prayer doesn't save them, but the grace of Jesus and the desire in their heart to know him and accept him as the savior of their life does. So I lead them in the prayer. When we finished I looked at one of the girls and said, "You don't have a Bible, do you?" After she had told me two weeks ago that she did. She looked at me with big puppy dog eyes and shook her head. It was the most AWESOME spiritual experience I have ever had in my ENTIRE! life. For the first time ever, God allowed me to lead two people to Christ. WOW! Pray for those girls. Pray that God would teach them who he is and that they would learn how to be true disciples of Jesus. Pray that because of their lives, others would be saved. God rocks my world! Has he rocked yours lately? Tell me about it! I love to hear about God's rocking awesomeness!

Where are you going?

2008-04-03T20:07:00.002-04:00

"You cant lead people to where you aren’t going..."

From time to time I tend to find a blog worth stalking and I drain every drop of wisdom from it that I can. My current "stalkee" if you will is Brad Cooper, one of NewSpring Student Ministry's pastors. He just rolls with wisdom constantly and today when I read the line quoted at the opening of my blog, it took me aback. This is something that I inherently knew, but to hear it put into those words just really challenged me.

"You cant lead people to where you aren’t going..."

Where are you going, and who is following?

Who are you playing for?

2008-03-28T08:59:00.003-04:00

As a soon to be English teacher, I love it when God demonstrates elements of literature! (Forgive me for my corniness, it's early and I haven't had any coffee yet) God is ironic. How is God ironic you might ask...well, last night I was talking to Will and out of the blue he asked me who my favorite athlete of all time was. That was def. a tough questions, but I quickly thought of the Atlanta Braves I watched growing up, with my late grandpa. Those athletes brought back memories that I will always cherish, besides that John Smoltz and Greg Maddux are pretty baller!
So this morning I started surfing some blogs that always seem to spur me spiritually. I started at Perry's blog because he just seems to see God everywhere and it blows me away, the ways that he hears and sees God even in the monotony of the day most take for granted. So Perry's last blog had a funny comment about Brad Cooper which lead me to Brad's blog. Ok...here comes the ironic part. I was reading through some of Brad's blogs when I came upon this video of John Smoltz.

Dude...I didn't even know he was Christian! So, while it was cool to find out that my fav. athlete of all time loves Jesus, it aso challenged me. The way he uses his talent in every capacity and plays for an audience of one really made me stop and think...who am I playing for?

Me?

2008-03-02T22:33:00.002-05:00

Do you ever look up at God and say, "Who, me?!" Lately, I've had quite a few of those moments, but tonight probably had to be my biggest. My loving, awesomely incredible fiance informed me, with full confidence, of God's calling on his life. I'm not going to share it just yet because I'm not sure he's ready for the world to know, but please be praying that God gives him wisdom and clarity as he pursues this calling. Pray that God gives me a faith-filled heart. Pray that God will change my heart and make me worthy of the calling. Thanks!

Wow

2008-02-27T21:41:00.003-05:00

So, yet again, it has been a while since I've posted, but student teaching and wedding planning has caused life to blow by at break neck speeds. I really don't even have time to be doing this right now, but something so outrageously awesome happened in my life tonight that I could not, ABSOLUTELY could not pass up the chance to share it tonight.

Our service at Student Ministry tonight was about the book of Revelation, three things we should learn from it. One of the things was that Jesus is coming back, I know--something, I've always known, but presented and made real to me in a way that I hadn't considered in a LONG time. Brad Cooper, one of our youth pastors shared the truth of heaven and hell in such a powerful way that I was completely overwhelmed for the souls of those who were lost. He described those who don't know Christ as lost in a burning building while we know the way out. I realized in that moment that I am just standing on the curb watching people that I love burn. I am standing by and, quite honestly, telling them to go to hell while I rest on my blessed assurance and bask in my salvation. I know that is a lot to chew on, but this is not where the heart wrenching conviction really struck me.
While I was washed in the truth and inspired by the message during the time that I was still in the building, it wasn't until my drive home that God poured some frapping amazing knowledge on my heart. I was praying for my students at Palmetto and began to weep for their souls. I cried out to God and asked him if I could take their place. I wept and begged God to make me the lowest servant I could be, to give me patience and the capacity to love them despite how they try me...and then it hit me. What I was feeling at that moment was not even a fraction of what Christ felt before he went to the cross. I don't say what I prayed to bring glory to myself, but to show the depth of the love that Christ showed for each one of us. I didn't even realize the depth of what I was saying, but I knew that what I was praying was the outcry of my heart. Hearing God speak to my heart and show me why I was feeling what I was feeling was completely astonishing. The clarity and peace I felt at that moment was phenomenal. While I want to show my kids that love of Christ each day and attempt to SHOW them the gospel, I want to boldy proclaim Christ's death and resurrection without the fear of being fired or losing the job I've been promised for next year. So, if you're reading this and your pray, pray for me to be bold and share the gospel (with wisdom and respect). Losing your job is such a small sacrifice compared to handing naked on a cross. God will provide. Don't lose heart.

A BIG YEAR

2008-01-07T16:50:00.000-05:00

2008 is going to be an absolutely stinking HUGE & SLAM PACKED year for me. I graduate, get a job, influence young people, and get married...all within ONE year. Can you believe it? Wow. I'm pretty blown away. Thinking about this new year and what's to come I've decided to change a few things. No, not New Year's resolutions...those get broken--I said CHANGES. So here are the big changes that I want you as my readers (whoever you are) to keep me in check with. My email is mhendricks1781@andersonuniversity.edu feel free to email me and ask me how I'm doing.

Changes for 2008:
1. Share the gospel every chance I get.

2. Love with all of got. (Esp. my fab fiance)

3. Find a hobbie that I really love and do it often.

4. Eat food that is good for me. (Try to balance my diet...no, I did not say DIET, I said balance my diet, aka eat right)

5. Get fit. I mean REALLY fit, like when I played volleyball.

What do you want to change this year?

The Best is Yet to Come

2007-12-30T16:39:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I wrote about putting up a monument for God and lately God's been showing me that I should reflect on the things that he's done in my life, the miracles he's performed and how far I've come. Sadly, while reflecting on these awesome moments in my life I felt hopeless. I've felt like I've already peaked and I'm just on my way out with nothing to look forward to. Approaching my graduation date, I don't want to leave college because it has been the best time of my life. Suffice it to say, I've been a bit nastalgic and unwilling to face the days to come. I prayed yesterday that my life would daily step closer to God and that I would reach the relationship that I once had with him. So I've thought a lot about what I did in the past and how I grew closer to God. This morning my awesome, powerful and wonderous God gave an answer during the 11:00 service @ church (NewSpring).

Ironically, this morning, Perry talked about how God is moving in amazing ways and that our best days are yet to come. He spoke from Exodus about the attitude of the Israelites and their relationship with God. He led them out of slavery, equipped them for life in the dessert, and led them by a pillar of clouds in the day and a pillar of fire at night. He didn't take them directly to their desination, but he took them by the way that he knew best. He loved his children, just as he loves me. He wants to do great things in my life, even after I've slipped, he loves me and he wants to see great things in my life. He wants to lead me to the promised land--an abundant life, serving him. If you want to pray for me, please pray that God would keep my feet on his path, that he would strengthen me, and that I would have an unquenchable desire to know him more and serve him selflessly. Also pray that I would not be distracted because when God moves, Satan moves to take our eyes off of Jesus. Pray that my eyes are captivated by the beauty of his face and that I would not come down from the wall (if you don't get that reference, check out Nehemiah...it's a pretty baller book). I'll leave you with a little hope from the Godbreathed lyrics of MercyMe's Hold Fast

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let goI
promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strifeI
s His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here it comes fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing stronger than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast
Help is on the way
So hold fast He's come to safe the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
To hold fast

A Pile of Stones

2007-12-29T14:55:00.000-05:00

In the Bible, in some instances, people would pile up stones as a marker of remembrance of a miracle of God. This enabled the people, when others passed by and asked about the marker, to give glory to God. I'd like to pile up some stones today, even though my miracle is small. Lately I've experienced great unrest and confusion. I've felt like the real world is approaching at the speed of light to crush me with the fist of fear and failure. I've allowed this overwhelming notion to take my eyes off of God and it has affected the remainder of my life; which easily happens when God is not your focus. I had fallen down the slippery slope.
Today God taught me an awesome lesson. When you slip and take your eyes of off him, you can't just expect to leap right back onto the straight and narrow. You have to climb out, one step at a time, with your eyes on him and your hand in his.
He gave me a great victory today. I trusted him with something little and he blew me away with his swift and loving answer. It feels good to take one step closer to God.
I look foward to piling up a lot more stones.

Challenge

2007-12-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

Lately I've felt like there was more to life than what I was accepting. The devotion I get everyday through email from Proverbs 31 ministries really got my attention and made me realize just what my purpose is and that when my eyes are on my Lord and Savior then the little things in life lose their power over me and the greater purpose gives me great hope and joy. Check out what God shared with me this morning:

Honoring God with Your Life
By Marybeth Whalen

“It never occurs to them to say, ‘How can we honor our God with our lives, The God who gives rain in both spring and autumn and maintains the rhythm of the seasons.” Jeremiah 5:24 (NIV)

Devotion:
Last night God brought a little boy to my mind. This little boy is nothing special. He has never been on the front page of a newspaper or achieved a world record. No one recognizes his name; he isn’t a celebrity by the world’s standards. And yet, he was on my mind last night, though I’ve never met him personally. I just know about him because I read something his mother wrote years ago.

At about eight years-old, he felt burdened to start a cookie ministry for elderly people, new neighbors, and others in his life. And so, each week this little boy would make a big batch of Snickerdoodle cookies (I still remember what kind because they sounded so good), divide them into packages, pile them in his wagon and deliver them to whoever was on his list for that week. He would visit with the people and sometimes share a verse or prayer with them and be on his way. Some people heard about what he was doing and donated money to pay for the ingredients in his cookies, and he enjoyed having his very own ministry at a young age.

It has been many years since I read that, and I imagine that little boy is a young man now. I don’t have any idea what he is doing, but something tells me that he is still finding creative ways to honor God with his life. As I thought of him last night, I was struck by how flimsy my excuses must sound for not being more purposeful about ministering to others. What keeps me from reaching out to those around me—the hurting, the grieving, the sick, or the hopeless? What makes me shrug my shoulders and walk away? Why does a little boy’s cookie ministry matter? Because he used what he had and he did what he could. And I know I could stand to do the same.

We are supposed to honor God with our lives. And yet, we have a million reasons for not doing so. Money, time, and resource constraints are popular excuses—and yet, this little boy was bound by the same things. I know that even if I just bake a loaf of banana bread and take it to someone that God puts on my heart, then that is honoring God with my life. Sometimes it is in the simplest of acts that we make the biggest impact. Instead of making excuses and leaving ministry to other people, I can set out to do what I can with what I have.

Many years later this young man’s cookie ministry has served to inspire a busy woman to honor God with her life. He has no idea how impacting his example was on me. I hope he has inspired you as well.

Dear Lord, help me to act on the things You lay on my heart and not make excuses or feel silly or inadequate. Help me to see the bigger picture in the little things You call us to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God is Mighty to Save

2007-12-26T14:32:00.000-05:00

May the beauty of salvation embrace you, may your need for Christ capture you, and may the power of the Cross overwhelm you.

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the mysterious array of black filing cabinets. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked “Lust,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Of Men, or of God?

2007-12-25T08:35:00.000-05:00

I've noticed lately that I worry a lot about the opinions of others. I am consumed by worry sometimes wondering if something I've done is good enough or if something I said was wrong and I constantly seek the approval of others. Not until last night, in light of this beautiful holiday, did I realize that worrying about the opinion of others is SO futile.

My honey sent me this verse last night, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."--Galations 1:10

**Side note: Speaking of my honey, he's blogging now! Check out his blog @ http://www.sweetwilliet.blogspot.com/ . (Yes, it says sweet willie T)

Back to what Jesus is doing in my life...I must admit that after I read his text, I was uber convicted. I didn't sleep very well last night battling worry. Praise this Lord that this morning I was a lot less stressed about the upcoming (in just a few hours) Christmas meal with my rents and future inlaws.

What God showed me this morning is that the reason we celebrate today is not about how great the gifts are or what the meal is like. It's all about the fact that Jesus was born and that we get to go to heaven because He lived, died, and rose again. Who cares if the soup is good or if someone already has the present you bought them? We get to spend eternity in heaven because God sent his son into this world that we might be saved. Why should I worry about what others think when the creator of the universe loved me enough to send his son to die so that I could hang out with him for the rest of eternity?

Are you trying to win the approval of men, or of God?

Texas

2007-12-14T14:43:00.001-05:00

If you don't see posts for a while, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my blog. I'm going to be in Texas visiting the future fam from Saturday until the 22nd. Feel free to leave me some lovin! PEACE

101--my 3rd post today.

2007-12-12T14:21:00.000-05:00

I'm a loser. This is my third post today. What else am I supposed to do when I'm sick?! Huh?!

Ok...so when I say something funny, I have to share it with the world, b/c it doesn't happen that often. My friend Allie said that I didn't have the teacher look b/c I wasn't wearing those vests with numbers and letters on them and I made her promise me that she would not let me become frumpy when I student teach next semester...then came the funny thing I said. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO FRUMP!!" I think it was funny. It might not be all that funny to you, but I made myself laugh...and laughter is the best medicine, which reminds me it's time for my meds. I'm going to kill this schtinkind cold before I go to Texas.

Oh btw...I'm going to Texas this Saturday to see Will's family. I'm sure I will post some videos from my new camera when I return! auf vida sin

The Centennial Post

2007-12-12T14:07:00.000-05:00

This my 100th post on this blog! HOW COOL IS THAT?! I so enjoy blogging, not just for the sheer joy of writing, but for the sheer joy of sharing what God is doing in my life and what he is teaching me. The point I want to make with this particular post is this.

Anything good, any good fruit that comes from me is not of myself, but of Christ who lives in me. Without him, I am a wretched heart, living only for myself. With him, I am a changed woman, a selfless lover of the hopeless. If you just happen on this blog and wonder what kind of crazy I've been smoking, I've been infused with the Holy Spirit and I have more joy in my savior Jesus Christ now that I ever did in the 19 years of my life before I really KNEW him.

I'll leave you with this

"For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
--II Corinthians 4:6-7

I love me when I am merely his jar of clay.

Little by Little

2007-12-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

Mainstay "Become Who You Are"

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz you said that I would never want for anything again
But my eyes are set low
and I'm holding to the thing I know I can't keep

I keep on chasing the wrong things
and coming up empty
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake
And I'm finding each time that you fall,
you're just becoming who you are

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz I keep on searching for the answers that I don't need
I know I don't need

Mmmm...there is so much truth in those lyrics. Everytime I chase something that is away from the will of God, I come up empty and wanting more. When I am in the middle of the will of God, looking to him to fill me, I could never want for me. That's something hard for me to chew on. When I am not satisfied, I am not in the will of God. When I desire more, I am not following my Lord and savior. Man...that's hard, but AMAZING.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Something else God is teaching me, when we are saved, not everything is changed all at once. I listened to sermon from Elevation church last night from their "Confessions of a Pastor" Seris. This particular sermon was about committing the same sins over and over again and Pastor Steven Furtick read the following scripture:

You may say to yourselves, "These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?" But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. Moreover, the LORD your God will send the hornet among them until even the survivors who hide from you have perished. Do not be terrified by them, for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God. The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.
--Deuteronomy 7:17-22

I thought that my sin was stronger than me. With this passage God showed me that He is SO much bigger than my sin and he will drive it out if I allow him to. It will not be all at once, because if I reach perfection I would not need Jesus in my life, but little by little he will send the hornets and kill the sin in my life. Don't be discouraged if you struggle with this, too. The Lord your God is perfecting you little by little. Look to him to conquer your sins. You can't do it by yourself.

Sick

2007-12-11T19:37:00.000-05:00

Pray for me. I'm pretty sick. I have a sinus infection from hades. Pray that God uses this time that I have to be still to speak to my heart and renew my affection for him.

Something's Missing

2007-12-04T23:22:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't spoke to Will very much in the past few days. We saw each other tonight for dinner with my parents and that didn't even last an hour. I'm used to having at least 30 minutes to talk with him each day and for the past few days it's been maybe 5 because of my exams and his last week of class before exams. I miss my man. REALLY bad. Ha, quite honestly a little tear is rolling down my cheek right now. (Geez, I'm a sap) But the way I feel about Will tonight got me to thinking about other things.
How does God feel when we don't spend time with him? How does his heart ache? Does he shed a tear or two when he is missing us? Just something I'm pondering on.

A Childlike Priest

2007-12-02T18:17:00.000-05:00

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.'" Matthew 18:1-5

Jesus calls us to be like little children. He even says that we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven if we are not like them. What exactly does he mean by that? For a very long time I have been perplexed by this scripture, but today I believe that my loving future husband and priest taught me this, unbeknownst to him.

Quite honestly there are times when I look at Will and I wish that he would just act his age. I wish that he would quit goofing off and face the issue at hand instead of joking around and making light of it. I laughed out loud as I wrote that b/c I can just imagine his beautiful smile when he knows I'm angry and he wants to make me laugh (even though that usually makes me more angry at the time). Today after church, we were goofing off and I caught myself getting frustrated because I wanted him to be serious and I said, "Man, we are going to have kids just like this." And that's when it hit me. I didn't say anything to him about this God given revelation, but I just studied him the rest of the time we were together. He laughed things off. He found joy in everything. He looked at everything around him with wonder and did everything he could to help me lighten up. Lately I've realized that I've been acting like a bitter old woman. I haven't lived like a child, full of wonder and letting the little annoying things go unnoticed. Instead, the little things have struck me and taken a little piece of joy and a little piece of youth each time.

Today Will really acted as my priest without even realizing it. In Proverbs 31, a godly woman is described as being able to laugh at the days to come. Thanks to the loving, amazing man in my life, I am now learning how to laugh at the days to come and take the little things in stride. Praise God for a man who knows how to be a child.

Disclaimer: I'm not condoning immaturity. There is a time and place for sincerity and there are situations that are not laughable, but because life is fleeting, the rest should be enjoyed and experienced in awe--like a child.

God Will Speak Through Stickers, etc.

2007-11-30T09:31:00.000-05:00

I get a devotion each day from Proverbs 31 Ministries. This was today's devotion and it really swept me off my feet. Check it out:

Sometimes when I make reference to the fact that God speaks to me, there are some people that don't quite know what to make of that statement. But, it is true. God's voice is a gentle rush through my soul or a thought that pops into my head in a way that I know it's not my own. Throughout the Bible, God spoke to His people. And I'm convinced He still does. This is the most exciting part of my adventures with God...hearing from Him, experiencing Him... everyday!

Recently I had the wonderful privilege to speak at a conference with Renee Swope. Renee and I went thinking we were going to be giving out to the ladies at the conference but God wound up giving to us in special ways as well. During Renee’s talk, she spoke about Isaiah 61 as her life verse given to her by God over ten years ago. She referred to verse 3 several times that promises God will make His people into oaks of righteousness, a display of His splendor. She said God's promise to her despite all the yuck of her past was that one day He would use her to "display" His splendor.

Toward the end of her talk, God spoke something that seemed quite strange to me. I felt God tell me to take the sticker off the sole of my shoe. I flipped my shoe over thinking it must be a price sticker. Instead, what I found took my breath away! Tucked safely into the arch of the bottom of my shoe, was an orange sticker that read DISPLAY! Instantly, the Lord spoke to my heart again and instructed me to give the sticker to Renee when she finished speaking and tell her that her life verse had been fulfilled. Today, she had truly become a DISPLAY of His splendor. She was to place the sticker in her Bible beside the Isaiah 61 verses as a reminder of God's fulfilled promise in her life. The sticker even matched Renee's orange jacket she was wearing!

Some may be skeptical that God would speak to ordinary women. Some may think it silly that God would use a sticker on the bottom of a shoe to reveal Himself. But Renee and I are absolutely convinced... from the bottom of our soles and souls!

Praise God that He has a sense of humor and he speaks to us specifically and with a love that we could never comprehend. How is he trying to speak to you today?

WOW! I love this

2007-11-29T09:47:00.000-05:00

"Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit."
--2 Peter 1:20-21

PROPHECY NEVER HAD ITS ORIGIN IN THE WILL OF MAN. Praise God. Praise God that it is not of our own will that we speak truth in to the lives of other. Praise God that we are carried along by the Holy Spirit. Some are given the gift of prophecy even today. I'm trying to learn not to turn a deaf ear to someone who is speaking God's truth into my life "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

God's Proverbial Light Bulb

2007-11-29T09:36:00.000-05:00

Last night @ NewSpring Student Ministry Alden spoke on the importance of God's word and understanding exactly where your relationship is with the Holy Spirit. Well, after worship we went into small groups and the girls were discussing that they had trouble with applying God's word to their life. They would take it in and take it in, but do nothing with it. At this point, God turned on the proverbial light bulb in my head. I had started a blog for the girls so that we could all write to one another and keep up with what was going on in each other's lives, but that just wasn't working out. SO **DING** went the light bulb and I suggested that I start doing a daily devotion on the blog for the girls. We were doing devotion books before we switched from Ignite (middle school ministry) to a combined ministry and the girls were loving it. Now, I get to employ some technology and love on my girl's through God's word. I'm pretty stoked about it. It's going to be an awesome form of accountability for me. Here's a link to the blog Meg's Girlz if you want to check it out.

2 Peter 1:3-11

2007-11-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-11

What I took away from this:

God equips us with EVERYTHING we need to live according to his will...there are no excuses
To prevent being infective and unproductive, watch these areas of your life("But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."):
*Faith
*Goodness
*Knowledge
*Self Control
*Perserverance
*Godliness
*Brotherly kindness
*Love
He lays it out clearly before us...if we stumble it's because we are nearsighted and blind, we've forgotten that we've been cleansed from our past sins.

Just a little spiritual food to chew on. I have to admit, it's a pretty tough one to swallow for me.

God is DEFINITELY into Details

2007-11-27T01:14:00.000-05:00

God's timing is remarkable. Last Tuesday night I was making up some work that I had neglected b/c I am a ridiculous procrastinator sometimes. I was working in the coffee shop...I don't remember why...and ended up talking to a friend from high school who is a Teaching Fellow with me--Joanna Dickerson (girl, just so you know, God used you in a BIG way). She informed me that she had heard that Palmetto Middle School had money to start a volleyball program for the past two years, but did not have any one to Coach the team. Being the lover of volleyball that I am, I HAD to find out if this was true (no offense Jo..I just wanted to make sure they were still looking).
So...Saturday I got up the courage to email the Palmetto Middle School Principal to find out if it was true. I was just expecting a short little email back sometime this week, but God came through in a BIG way.On my way back from shopping this afternoon I received a phone call from the Student Teaching coordinator--I figured that she was just calling to confirm my student teaching placement at Southwood Middle School. Much to my suprise she proceeded to tell me that I had the opportunity to student teach at Palmetto Middle School, and--according to my student teaching performance--possibly take the place of a teacher who has to leave in December AND become the new volleyball coach!
For those of you who know me well, you know that I quit volleyball after my sophomore year of college b/c I felt as if God were calling me in a new direction. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, but God is now rewarding me for that decision with many new open doors. Praise God for his timing and his faithfulness. He continuously blows me away. With that...I'm out, like pout...without the "P"

My Chains are Gone

2007-11-18T22:55:00.000-05:00

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are goneI've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbid to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Even since giving my life to Christ, I've felt like there were times when I was living in bondage again. Lately, that's been the emotion I've had. I've felt as if something were wrong, as if the perverbial gears just weren't in synch and everything I did just felt off--especially my relationship with Will. Tonight at church I realized that I needed to be set free from my selfish desires and allow God's mercy and grace to cover me once more and surrender it all back to him again. I guess my blog yesterday was me on the brink, in need of God to step in and hold me. The last song before Perry's sermon (an unexpected Celine Dion ballad) really just blew me away and showed me that I had not been the the helper for Will that God has called me to be. The Power of Love was the song. The lyrics that really got me were these

Even though there may be times
It seems Im far away
Never wonder where I am
cause I am always by your side
cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
Ill do all that I can

And I am his lady, but I haven't done all that I can when he reaches for me. I've been standing in his way, at best. I've been begging for his attention becase I wouldn't look to my Lord and Savior to fulfill me. I need accountability and I need my God to ransom me.
Tonight I also realized that I need a really strong woman of God to be my mentor and to disciple me. I cannot look to Will to show me how to be a better woman of God. Yes, he can lead me and point me to Jesus, and he does, but he cannot demonstrate to me how to live out Proverbs 31. So, if you read this and you pray...please pray that God places a great example in my life and pray that I love my fiance the way God intended love to be. Pray that I don't ask anything of him, and that I serve him and point him to Jesus constantly. Pray that I no longer rely on myself and that my pride just melts like snow. I'm out.

Power Struggle

2007-11-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

So, I really struggle with being submissive--submissive to God, submissive to Will, submissive to authority, submissive to truth. I struggle with being selfish. I see the world through such a limited view. Pray that God expands my view and opens my eyes to the way he sees things. Then maybe I won't struggle with letting other people take control.

God is into details...

2007-11-13T01:08:00.000-05:00

I'm up entirely too late b/c I just finished a paper for my Victorian lit class. God really taught me a valuable lesson tonight...besides the fact that procrastination may one day be the reason why I leave this world to be with him...I learned that Satan is subtle. I always thought it was going to be obvious when Satan attacked, but tonight he snuck in really sneaky like.

Picture this scene, I had been trying to work on a paper for about two hours with a plethora of distractions when Will calls trying to be sweet and encourage me while I work. I was to a breaking point and I couldn't even concentrate on what he was saying, so I was ugly and told him that I couldn't even hear what he was saying b/c I kept rereading the one paragraph I had meagerly typed on the page. I could hear the hurt in his voice, which made me even more angry b/c I knew I was being the south end of a north bound horse.

Still, I didn't see what God was trying to teach me. I knew that the theif comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I didn't realize that he does it minute by minute. God has been trying to show me to take one minute at a time, only I didn't realize that this was why. Tonight Satan took advantage of a few hours b/c I took my minutes for granted. He stole not only my joy, but that of the person I love the most in this world by using my frustration to blind me from the joy of a moment with my loved one. Geez. I really pray that God helps me to be aware of the little things...good and bad.

Your first love?

2007-11-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

Lately I've felt that God is calling me to something so much bigger than I can comprehend. My fiance has had the exact same feeling. We just have this huge excitement and wonder rolling within us, as if we're standing on the edge of a cliff, attached to a hand glider with the perfect wind about to lift us to flight. We are on the edge of something huge and I'm pretty pumped about it. Will feels like God may be calling him to start some kind of ministry, he's passionate about young people and football, I know I'm called to be his helper and I'm passionate about underpriveleged young people. So what is it that God is calling us to? I'm not quite sure, but after reading the pitfalls of people who are new to ministry (Young Lions) on Clayton Kings blog, I realized that I must be certain to remain in Christ and HE will guide my steps. This was one of the final pitfalls Clayton warned about:
Losing The First Love - from personal experience, I can say that all of the creativity and energy that YoungLions have penned up inside their hearts and heads can distract them from the main thing; staying connected to the Vine. In John 15, Jesus made it clear that if we remain in Him, we will bear much fruit, but apart from Him, we can do nothing. NOTHING. Young Lions must not forget that we are called first to Christ, not success or church planting or executive decision-making. He must always remain our first love.

Is He your first love?

True Freedom

2007-11-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

This morning I had to be up bright and early to attend a Veteran's Day honorary breakfast for Teaching Fellows. The scholarship ensures that I only have to pay for books each year, so I tried not to complain much. I have to admit, when my alarm clock went off this morning and there was not a light shining through the window and the room outside my covers was freezing, my brain started formulating excuses of why I "accidentally" missed the program. Despite the bitter thoughts, I rose and got ready. When I arrived, I was still a little cynical about waking up early. Then the Veterans began arriving and my attitude started to shift. God spoke to my heart and made me realize what these men and women did so that I can be free. Then, I was reminded of what Christ did so that I can be free.
All too often those who don't believe in Christ won't accept him for fear of losing their freedom. They fear that God will take away the fun in their lives. God has been showing me lately just what it means to have freedom in Christ. When you take your eyes off of Christ for just a moment, the world creeps in and surrounds. The walls grow higher and your hope begins to shrink, but the minute you cry out to Jesus, they very second you realize that you cannot do things on your own, he rips the curtain and removes the barriers separating you from him. There is nothing like setting your eyes firmly on Jesus. Everything else just seems so small in comparison. Joys are greater, sorrow is less and Christ is above all. Praise God for the freedom we have in Jesus. Thank a Veteran for the freedom we have in this country.

Politics?

2007-11-06T14:24:00.000-05:00

Normally, I keep out of politics because I am not very well versed in understanding how it all works; however, I am about to begin working in public schools, get married, and one day have children in public schools...I think it's time that I show interest in politics. Lately I've been researching John Edwards' plans for education. The following paragraph I found on his website made me giddy.

Make Every School an Outstanding School
Every child in America should have the chance to attend an outstanding public school that has high expectations for every child. Edwards will radically overhaul No Child Left Behind to live up to its goal of helping all children learn at high levels. The law today judges children based on cheap standardized tests, forces schools to narrow the curriculum, fails to accurately identify struggling schools, and imposes unproven cookie-cutter reforms...To build on current successes, he will help 1,000 'great' schools a year expand or start new branches. Edwards will also invest more resources for low-income children, put us on a path to fully funding special education, and raise graduation rates by creating multiple paths to graduation such as Second Chance schools for former dropouts.

He plans to RADICALLY OVERHAUL NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. I love that statement. After much research into the No Child Left Behind Act, I've drawn the conclusion that No Child Left Behind is seeking to "privatize" public schools. What happens to the children who cannot afford to transfer to the school with "highly qualified teachers" because their school failed on the basis of the national report card? They get LEFT BEHIND.
I'm not 100% sold on John Edwards yet, but I am definitely appreciative of his plan to overhauld No Child Left Behind. I've got more research to do before I make up my mind.

My God is Sovereign

2007-11-05T22:25:00.000-05:00

Man, I am a LOUSY blogger. But, to my defense, I am a busy lady. I am a senior in college and in my last semester before I student teach, I'm planning a wedding, trying to spend enough time with my friends and my AMAZING fiance, and I'm trying my best to grow in my walk with God. Needless to say, I stay busy. Enough excuses, time to share an awesome work of God.

Four years ago next week I was a senior in high school playing in the North/South All-star volleyball game. The North/South game is played by four teams. The best seniors from the North 1A/2AA teams play the South 1A/2AA seniors and the same with the 3AAA/4AAAA teams. Funny that four years ago I was playing and this year I have been asked by an FCA representative to speak to this years All-Stars. As I was praying and listening to what God wanted to say to these girls, he really showed me that I needed to tell them what I wish someone had told me when I was in their shoes. I had some quiet time tonight and God just spoke to my heart and I filled in a detailed outline of 5 things I wish someone would have told me 4 years ago. Then God spoke to my heart again and said that I should write all of this in a letter and print it out for each girl to keep. Then he spoke to my heart again and told me to see who this years all-stars were. I knew I wouldn't recognize any names, save the ones from my hometown. When I got to the names of the two girls chosen from my high school alma mater, I wanted to drop to my knees before God and thank him for the chance to speak his truth to them. I am completely blown away by God's plan and God's timing in not only my life, but the lives of others. Praise God for his sovereignty!

My God is a God of Romance!

2007-09-27T22:57:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how when you ask God to remove you from the equation and speak to the heart of others how he honors your sincerity and does just that...in ways that you least expect. I haven't written on my blog in a about a month and a half now, but by accident I stumbled across my own blog tonight and read this comment.

hey there. I was googling "Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life"
Proverbs 4:23 and I came across your page. After reading your blog I was very amazed at your age and how much love and devotion your life has for GOD. I am about your age and I must say your blog has really shown me that it doesnt matter how old you are, we as a individual can all be a ambassador for Christ and you have truly inspired me to LET GOD be the main source of my happiness and definitely the keeper of my heart. THANK YOU but definitely THANK GOD.

I wanted to write this person back and say thank you for the spectacular encouragement, but they didn't have a contact on their profile, so ohjaneeee...thanks for allowing God to use you to build up a sister in Christ. I'm blown away by how God uses little details to do things that he knows will take my breath away over and over again. He IS the God of romance!

The Rang Story

2007-08-14T00:17:00.001-04:00

For those of you who read the last post and wanted the engagement story...here it is. You're welcome.

Background info:
1. Will and always go to this plantation called Redcliffe about five minutes away from his house, when we go to see his parents in North Augusta. When we are there we always climb the same Magnolia tree and just sit and talk and have a blast being kids for a little while
2. We've been talking about carving our names in this tree for about a month now
3. In the book of Ruth, Boaz places a blanket around Ruth to show that he wants to marry her
4. Will and I flirted for the very first time at a youth event for Ignite called FNL

Without further adieu, I give you...the story:
Saturday morning, August 4th we woke up and decided that today was the day that we would carve our names in the Magnolia tree. I was wearing a white tshirt Will's mom had bought me and Will was wearing his black FNL shirt. I thought it was a little strange that he was wearing black knowing that we were about to go out into 100 degree heat, but hey...he's a boy--he doesn't know any better (JK he's brilliant and he had a reason, as you can see in #4 from the info above...however, I was clueless). Moving on, around 10:30 am we drove over to Redcliffe and made the trek to the Magnolia grove. We climbed the tree and in true country girl and boyscout fashion we carved our names in the tree. It was blazing hot by the time we finished so we decided to try and find a place to sit in the shade, but there was a bride wondering all over the area around the plantation home getting her wedding photos taken, so we decided to drive around to the main gate. The view facing the main gate is about 500 yards of dirt road leading to the plantation home, lined with Magnolia trees. On the left side of the road there is bench about 100 yrds from the gate. Well, we walked over to the bench and sat discussing how perfect and fun the day had been so far. Will asked me to hold that thought that he had to get something from the car. So, I'm thinking that he's getting his camera or something like that, but he starts walking back with this long box wrapped in silver paper and white bows. My mind races and it seems like it takes him an eternity to get back. He told me that he had a gift for me, and I opened the box to find a blanket which he took out and wrapped around me saying, "I want to wrap my blanket around you." and left in the box was a road sign with his last name, and when I saw this he said, "I want you to have my last name" he gets down on one knee, "Will you be my wife?" I squeal, kiss him, and then I said YES! We went back to his house and my parents and sister were waiting there along with my favorite flowers and five bridal magazines his mom had bought for me. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day! "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." Eph.3:20a How GREAT is our God!!!!

Love--the way God intended

2007-08-13T19:21:00.000-04:00

Wow...it's been a while...and I have HUGE news. I'M ENGAGED! Yep, Will popped the question and I said "yes"! I'll post another blog after this one with the story, but for now the important story at hand is to explain how awesome God's love is and how God showed me clearly that Will was specifically designed with me in mind. This is going to be a pretty personal blog, but I just want to share how love is when it is the love that I believe God intended when he created Adam and Eve.
Two nights ago I hit a spiritual wall. I realized that I had been taking baby steps away from God since the day that Will proposed (August 4th). Satan had successful distracted me with the happiness I had found in the engagement and the stress of getting ready to go back to school. All week I drove out and back to Anderson to paint the house I am going to be living in this semester. I kept busy--devoting little or no time to quiet time with God. Saturday night, I broke.
I can't explain how it happened but I realized that the look in Will's eyes was not the same. His reactions to me and his warmth toward me had changed. It seemed as if he were looking at a stranger. This broke my heart, and brought me to realize that I hadn't been myself since he put the ring on my finger. Since the beginning of our relationship we have done our best to keep God at the center of our relationship--giving Him the glory for every great moment and praising Him in the storms--and we have been able to tell when the other was being lazy in their walk with God. Saturday night is when I realized just how God has used Will's love for me as a thermometer measuring my walk with Him. When I'm on fire for Jesus, Will is constantly romancing me and showering me with love.
Thank God that Will is not in love with who I am--without Christ I am nothing. Will is in love with the woman God made me when I invited Jesus to live in my heart. I prayed for this before I even met Will. I prayed that God would mold my future husband's heart in such a way that he would not love me by myself, but that he would be in love with Christ in me. I had to wait 21 years and make many mistakes before God placed Will in my life, but I would do it all over again to receive the prize that I have in my future husband.

I'm back...for now.

2007-07-14T13:37:00.000-04:00

Hey stranger. I've been busy. Sorry I haven't had time to write. Hopefully I can make up for that today. I've been working for the YMCA as a summer camp counselor for the past month and a half. I have learned so much about kids and discipline. I have no fear about teaching now. If I can handle these kids, I can handle any class that comes my way. I've also learned a lot about loving the "unlovable." It seems that the kids that everyone else wants to push away come running to me. I love it. It makes me want to be more like Jesus.
I took the Praxis II content exams and passed. YAY I'm that much closer to becoming a teacher. I'm still considering graduate school. I could go straight into teaching, at a middle school, and have the classes for certification paid for...or I could go to grad school and more than likely go in debt. Hmmm...still debating that one-surprisingly. I know that I am called to teach middle school, and I will do whatever it takes to teach it.
God is great, my life is beautiful. And I'm loved by a man that loves Jesus. What more could I ask for? Hopefully more to come soon. Stay tuned. For now, I have to go get ready for a wedding. Which seems there's been an abundance of this summer. Peace.

I Surrender All

2007-05-31T08:56:00.000-04:00

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all;

All to thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,

Humbly at His feet I bow,

Worldly pleasures all forsaken,

Take me Jesus, take me now.

This is what God is speaking to my heart this morning. This needs to be my daily attitude. I need to constantly open my hands and let go of the things that I hold on to so tightly. Perhaps one of the most difficult things for me is to let someone else take control of anything in my life; however, I think the creator of the universe can handle it. I'm out like those worldly pleasures...all forsaken.

Service, please!

2007-05-29T09:23:00.000-04:00

One more thing...my boyfriend and I want to spend some of our free Saturday mornings serving people. We have decided that God has blessed us with so much and that we want to give back, together. We also feel like that is a good way to keep our hearts in the right place, striving to learn more about the heart of God. So, if you have any ideas of places that we can serve, or people who need service, PLEASE comment! Thank ya kindly!

Where is the Love?

2007-05-29T09:12:00.000-04:00

Immodesty isn't just about causing our Christian brothers to stumble; it's about our craving for the emotional rush we receive when we know we're being noticed.
I struggle with this. I was checking out Christianity Today online because lately, I've been struggling with a need for attention. I haven't been taking that need to my FATHER. After reading an interview with author Shannon Elthridge (author of Every Young Woman's Battle; which I want to read REALLY badly), I realized that God is the only way to satisfy my soul's longing for love. No earthly relationship can fulfill that need. As long as I am looking to others around me to satisfy that need, I'm going to be greatly disappointed--and I'm going to hurt them in the process. Expecting an earthly relationship to satisfy a need for the love of God is like asking a Penguin to run 65mph and catch an antelope. No man was created to fulfill that longing. This is just another way that God is calling me to pursue Him. I realize that my boyfriend, my parents, nor my friends can supply the attention that I need. With that, I'm out...I'm going to go get a little lovin' from my Savior.

Bring on the Rain

2007-05-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

Last night I watched Facing the Giants for the first time. I'll admit, at the beginning of the movie I was a little distracted by all of the poor reviews I had heard. I was expecting to be bored and most definitely unmoved. However--despite the predictability--I was really impacted by the message of the movie. It's something I've heard a million times, but to see it applied to a life was pretty awesome: Nothing is impossible with Christ. Besides the awesome message of the movie, there was a story that was shared that I cannot get off of my mind. It goes a little something like this:
There were two farmers and both of them hadn't experienced rain in three years. All that time, they prayed. Yet, one of the farmers prepared his fields for the rain. Who do you think God blessed with the rain? The man who merely prayed, or the main who had the faith to prepare for it?
Now I just have to figure out what my fields are and how to prepare them.

Have I got it?

2007-05-17T14:12:00.001-04:00

I made her pretty and not beautiful,

Because I knew her heart,

And knew she would be vain...

I wanted her to search our her heart,

And to learn that it would be

Me in her

That would make her beautiful...

And it would be Me in her

That would draw friends to her.

A friend of mine gave me a poem with several stanza's like this based on verses throughout scripture that speak to the heart of a woman. This one comes from 1 Peter 3:3-5a "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

Honestly, I've been struggling with my self-image a lot. I've been an athlete all of my life up until a year ago. My body was strong and thin. Now, I've got jiggly places I didn't know could jiggle (I give you permission to laugh there). So, while I have an awesome man in my life who is constantly reassuring me, there is a void; a void that is drawing me back to God for my reassurance. I have not been asking my Savior the question, "Am I lovely?" If I had, I would know that in his sight, I am captivating. I am his daughter whom he takes delight in. I've been listening to the voices of the world around me when I should be listening to my God who loves me. For any other women who struggle with this, I understand. Check out these lyrics by Barlowgirl.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?

'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am

I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

So sorry you won't define me

Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me

That I'm less than what I should be?

Who are you? Who are you?

I don't need to listen

To the list of things I should do

I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection

I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me

And to Him I have beauty beyond compare

I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

With that, I'm out like the world's standards...who needs them anyway?

The Life and Death of an Expectation

2007-05-16T12:18:00.000-04:00

So, I'm a blog slacker. BUT, this is all about to change! I am HOME for the summer and I pledge to take more time to muse on things and share with the world here in my newly titled blog, Treasures in Jars of Clay. Since I've been gone for far too long, heres' a quick update on me. Last week I went to Texas for a week to meet the rest of the boyfriend's family...it was fun, stressful, and an overall learning experience--one that I may never forget, for various reasons. This summer I will be working at the YMCA in Easley as a summer camp counselor with 8 & 9 year olds (YAY for songs, games, and spirit sticks--oh my). I've been car-less for the past few days and it's driving me nuts, but luckily I get Old Red back in a few hours. I think that's about it for now.
All the house keeping is finished, on to the musing.
Two days ago I had a devotion that is quickly changing the rest of my life. I've always had expectations and most of the time my expectations are met...but when they aren't, hell hath no fury like Hurricane Megan. My devotion was titled, "The Life and Death of an Expectation" It set the scene by explaining an expectation like an empty blob. As the expectations are met, and the blob is filled, it's not given a second thought--as if it is expected to be filled. We take our fulfillment for granted. The devotion went on to explain that when expectations are not met, "all we see left is the part left unfinished" and "we" begin to feel disappointment. Rather than getting motivated by this disappointment, "we get mad at ourselves, at God, and at people who were part of the plan in our expectations..." OUCH. This hit me pretty hard. Each day I have expectations and I get frustrated when things don't go the way I had planned. I was totally oblivious to the fact that my expectations affect my attitude daily. Reading further, these questions really got me:
Are you grateful for each fulfillment...truly grateful?
Do you place a lot of your hopes for the next event in what has already happened?
Do you still know that God is working His own plan out and that he doesn't need your help?
These are things that I know...but it doesn't hurt to be reminded every once in a while to be truly grateful as God fulfills his will for our lives. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."--Proverbs 19:21 With that, I'm out like my frustration--God's in control!

Hold out for what is real...

2007-03-31T22:09:00.000-04:00

WOW...it's been a while, yet again! Please forgive me! I've been super busy--had the flu, in and out of town for the past three weeks--sheer crazyness. But, I am here now NEVER FEAR! Anywho, I just read something in Perry's (pastor of NewSpring Church) blog that moved me. The blog was about True Love and how America has chosen to distort it. I couldn't help but be touched by this because I have never known true love until now and I feel I need to share this with everyone. I don't want any one to have to go through what I went through to be where I am now. The blog was amazing in it's entirity, but this is the one section grabbed me,
Singles–my challenge to you is HOLD OUT for what is REAL! If he’s trying to get in your pants…or your relationship is based on something other than true love–then you may have what Hollywood has…vomit…and the pain that it will bring will leave a scar.
Do not be tempted to sell yourself short. You are a son or daughter of the King. If you were a parent and you were going to give your child something, wouldn't you want to give them the best. That's what your heavenly Father wants for you. Don't settle for the pain that a Hollywood "love" can cause you. What God has in store for you will blow you away, it won't be peachy 100% of the time, but when God is the center of your relationship, I can assure you that it is the most rewarding experience you could ever imagine. I'll step down from my soap box now...and get into bed. I need lots of energy for tomorrow. I LOVE SUNDAYS!!!! Peace.

What a difference...

2007-03-14T10:36:00.000-04:00

Today my roommate from freshmen year is coming to visit from GA. I haven't seen her in almost two years. She is married and has a six month old son named Gabe. It's amazing how much can happen in just two short years.
Two years from now I will be in my own classroom, about to finish my first year as a teacher. I might be engaged. I will most likely be living on my own or with roommates. Two years doesn't seem like a very long time, but think back over the last two years. How much has your own life changed?

In two years time my life has changed drastically because of the change Christ has made in me. I found my self-worth, my calling, and my mission in my savior. What a relief it is to know where I am going and what I was created for. I was created to play an irreplacable role (big theme in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge--if you want to know more about being a woman...or men, if you want to know more about the heart of a woman, read this book). I was created to love middle schoolers, from youth ministry to the classroom. Lord knows, someone has to love them. It's a hard job, I realize this every time I teach a lesson at my field placement, but I always did enjoy a challenge. With that, I'm out like shout without the sh-.

Yes, this is # 2 for today--and that's ok!

2007-03-06T22:48:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel burnt out? Even with the things you truly love? This was the case with me. This year I have been a member of FCA leadership and recently, my flame for this position has been dying. I can't go into detail about the reason my flame was snuffed, but it was. I told our current prez that I wouldn't be returning to FCA next year about two weeks ago. All this leading up to the events of tonight.
Tonight at our FCA meeting we were voting for next year's Prez and VP, it was truly awesome to see the passionate hearts and ideas from those who were candidates. Passion is very important to me.
A little background info before I proceed. I grew up in a methodist church, I came to know Christ at age six, but I didn't know what it meant to have a relationship with God for 13 years, even after I was baptized at age 16. My spiritual "dance" as I like to call it--check out my blog from last July "The Dance" for further explanation--with God taking the true lead in my life happened October 24, 2005 at Anderson College (at the time) FCA. Thus, my passion for this ministry, I've seen it at work.
Back to the voting. After Cida Handal was interviewed, it was apparent that she has a remarkable passion for lost athletes. Trying to emphasize that to the other leaders, I began sharing my own experience with leadership--and I wept. Those who know me know that I DO NOT CRY. I am the strong one, I am the one who carries the weight of everyone else and unloads it somehow without entertaining the help of others. Tonight, my passion poured out in front of my fellow leadership. While my cheeks burned with embarassment and my pride leaked along with the saline from my tear ducts, I rediscovered my love for the ministry of FCA.
So, I've got a lot to pray about. God has blessed me with several options lately. I just pray that He blatantly leads my heart where I can most effectively grow His kingdom. With that, I'm out like the moon--what a BEAUTIFUL night!

SURPRISES

2007-03-06T16:16:00.000-05:00

I hate/love surprises. Not knowing what is going to happen consumes me. I was the kid who searched the house from top to bottom for Christmas presents. I ransacked closets, climbed into attics, and pillaged every nook and cranny of the house until I found them. If someone tells me that they have a surprise for me, I do everything in my power to figure out what it is before they tell me. It's an obsession.
So, yesterday I received a phone call from Lindsey Owens, our youth minister's assistant. She set up a meeting for me and Alden and Andrew Sentell (also on staff) for Wednesday at 1:00. Problem is, she didn't tell me what it is about. I asked her, "Do you know what it's about?" She answered with an enthusiastic, "Yeeeeeessssss." Then I countered with, "Is is a surprise?" Her touché, "A BIG surprise!" Ok, at this point, I'm itching to know. I still have to wait until tomorrow to find out what the meeting is about. AHHHHH! It's killing me! Funny thing is, Will and I are reading through Matthew and I remembered this verse in the book. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 6:34 I love how God speaks an answer directly to your heart. I think He kind of snickers and shakes His head when he does it. With that, I'm out like my deoderant...I might want to do something about that.

The Road No Longer Broken

2007-03-05T18:10:00.000-05:00

At the request of a few friends, I am returning to the blog world. I didn't realize how long I had been away. This semester has completely consumed me. Between class and homework, leadership positions on campus, maintaining friendships, and enjoying my boyfriend--I've been spread fairly thin. Positively spread thin, though. I am so blessed by the joy of the things God is trusting me with. Today I realized that God is trusting me with small things now so that He can trust me with greater things later (not that what I'm doing now is not great).
I know that my calling is middle school students, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Right now, I'm a junior English/Secondary Ed. major with hopes of teaching middle school and I work with the most BALLER (this word means stellar, phenomenal, etc.) middle school ministry in the world--Ignite--through NewSpring Church as a small group leader. Some may call me crazy...I just think I'm out of my mind for Jesus. I LOVE middle schoolers.
Also, God has blessed me with a BALLER relationship with an amazing man of God--I like to call him "God's Will." This relationship has been so beneficial to my walk with God. Before Will, I struggled with realizing my worth in a world the demoralized women. Now, I feel blessed to be a woman. He is constantly challenging me and encouraging me. I'm so sure that God has entrusted me with this relationship because He is preparing me for even more in the future.
These things may seem small, but I know that God has me where I am right now for a reason. I'm so excited to see where the next turn leads on this road...that is no longer broken!

Thank you

2006-12-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

God has truly blessed me. This is the season to be thankful, but shouldn't we constantly give thanks to God? This hit me hard on Sunday during the sermon @ NewSpring. The message was on thanksgiving and at the end of the service we were asked to write a thank you note to God. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks because the day before I had just returned from New Orleans on a mission trip to gut houses that were destroyed because of hurricane Katrina. That trip taught me to be grateful for EVERYTHING I have. Some families lost everything. A year and a half later, there are still parts of New Orleans that do not have power. We take simple things for granted every day. Take a moment, if you will, to think about the things in your life that you take for granted each day.
This is what I wrote in my thank you note:
God, thank you for letting your son die on the cross for my sins. Thank you for the fact that I will never be the same. Thank you for the opportunity and the gift you've given me for working with middle school students. I love them so much. Thank you for my family who loves me so much. Thank you for a SAFE home, my car, my clothes, food and supplying every need I've ever had. Thank you for my friends that spur and encourage me every day. Thank you for Will. I'm blown away by you. Thank you for your perfect plan for me. Thank you for the change in me. Thank you for New Orleans. It is an experience that has marked my life in such a way that I will never forget it. Thank you for your beauty and your excellence. I LOVE YOU. Thanks again, Megan
If you are reading this, feel free to share some of the things you are thankful for. Don't forget the little things this season. Merry Christmas! With that, I'm out like bread and milk at the grocery store when the forcast calls for snow.

What would you do?

2006-11-29T12:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in my Education 206 (Nature of the Exceptional Child) class Dr. McCuen gave us a handout and asked us to read it and react to it.

"As Christian individuals and future teachers, we are often faced with moral and ethical questions. Are there any circumstances in which it would be justified to kill a disabled newborn infant? Consider this situation. Anencephahics are infants born without cortexes (higher brains) and sometimes with damaged brain stems (lower brains). Without a brain, the backs of their skills are empty. They will never gain consciousness, will never develop preferences or desires, will never recognize pain, and will never think or form emotions. In other words, they will never develop personhood. Unless attached to life support, most will die within three hours of birth. Whether doctors kill these infants by removing their organs, or they die naturally in their parent's arms, the result is the same: the infant dies. Organs are most viable when removed before the body's natural death. If parents desire to save the lives of other babies by allowing doctors to remove organs from their brain-dead children, should the law stop them? This is currently illegal form of infanticide."

What do you think?

Top 10's

2006-11-23T08:30:00.000-05:00

Top 10 things I'm thankful for today
10. Books to read
9. Clothes to wear
8. A bed to sleep in
7. Food to eat
6. Education
5. AMAZING friends
4. NewSpring-the most PHENOMENAL church ever
3. Ignite Middle School Ministry
2. My (off-the-chain) family
1. God, who is bigger than I could ever imagine!

and random Top 10...for no obvious reason, whatsoever! (wink, wink)

Top 10 things that make a first date unforgettable
10. Good food
9. Bun warmers in car seats
8. Random questions
7. Old School
6. References to Talladega Nights
5. Laying/Spinning in the street
4. A search for coffee that ends up at a gas station
3. Watching some metal object get SMACKED by a train
2. Waiting on the train
1. A gentleman

Have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!

Deliriously

2006-11-16T23:39:00.000-05:00

So, I started this blog once already...and then completely deleted everything because I was rambling. I'm in a such a delirious state, in awe of God and in need of sleep. In awe of God because I love when He takes control of even the minute details in life and conducts a symphony that is so sweet, I can't help but dance. He orchestrates everything perfectly, in His time. It's simply beautiful. Also, I'm deliriously in need of sleep because I stayed up late studying for my big religion test. With that being said, it's time I hit the hay. I'm out like the lights...it's bedtime for Bonzo.

The Screwtape Letters

2006-11-06T15:41:00.000-05:00

In what little spare time I have, I am reading THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS by C.S. Lewis. The book is brilliantly written as a collection of letters from one demon to another. The "affectionate Uncle SCREWTAPE" is writing to his nephew Wormword about tempting a man who has recently been saved. The letters are woven with tips on how the nephew can tempt this man from his new found faith. There are so many profound ideas that I would never have conceived of had this book not been written from this specific perspective. Through the first few letters, I was made fully aware of areas in my life where I am suseptable to the enemy. Screwtape even advises ways to distract the man from prayer. Maybe I'm just naive, but I had no idea that I could be under attack while I was praying. I had experienced this before, not knowing that it was an attack, merely assuming that I was easily distracted. The more I read, the more I am being made aware of my weaknesses. Praise God! I don't want to stay the same and be content in my walk. I want grow daily, and growing daily is going to take God constantly refining me like silver-putting me to the heat and watching the impurities rise to the top as he scrapes them away. It's really amazing to see how God is changing my life constantly, not only in the big picture, but in the little parts that really make a difference. I'm truly glad that He is a stickler for details!

I ♥ Denny's

2006-11-01T01:02:00.000-05:00

So, October came and went in the blink of an eye. I've been so brilliantly busy this semester that I've hardly had the time to write. As I sit here at 1 AM on the first day of November, I'm in a reflective state of mind. I say this semester has been brilliantly busy. Not to say that I haven't been frustrated, anxious, and even a little bit overwhelmed in some moments, but overall my God has been SO faithful. Even in the midst of the grind of every day, I am utterly blessed with amazing friends and surrounded by people never cease to support me. Not only do I have amazing friends, but I also have a God who loves me and has chosen me to serve Him in SO many spectacular ways. I am just in awe of God. When I feel as if my stomach has turned inside out and my brain is spinning in a million different directions, God has a plan. I rest on this.
Tonight I had a talk with my dear friend Cida over cappucinno at Denny's. We were convinced that we were going to study, but that didn't happen. Lately, I've been slightly confused on a certain subject, but WOW does our Lord prevail. After a God-filled conversation with Miss Cida I feel a renewed hope and trust in my God and His plan for me. It's really breathtaking to know that no matter how many times you may hear a message, no matter how much you think you know...God can blow you away with one simple coversation. Praise God for Denny's and french vanilla cappuccino. Praise God for PHENOMENAL (hehe) friends. **SIGH** With that, I'm out light the lights...it's time for bed, YO!

Am I ready?

2006-09-28T18:04:00.000-04:00

And yet again...it's been a while. Life has been crazy-hectic. I think I somehow hit the switch and changed things into overdrive. My fifth semester @ AU is halfway over, ALREADY! I feel as if I just came back to school and I find myself studying for midterm exams. What on earth did I miss?! I seriously feel like I don't sit down for a minute, ok I'm sitting down right now, but that's not the point. I'm at work, one of my two jobs here on campus. This one just so happens to be student library assistant. (No nerd comments, please) I'm constantly on the move. I'm on a pair of roller blades on a down hill slope, with no brakes and no where soft to plant my tush. So, I just have to suck it up an roll with it; drinking in the moments as best I can as the flash before me. Wow, I just wish things would slow down a bit. I only have a year and a half left in college. A year and a half before the...GULP...real world. Am I ready?
That seems to be the question of the year for me! Am I ready to take this test? Am I ready to go to work? Am I ready to teach at campus groups? Am I ready to date? So many decisions. What's a girl to do? Thank God I can pray...if not I think I would I would have already been shipped to the luney bin. My Lord, my God is my strength and my song. I would be lost without him and his consistancy! With that, I'm out like my free time.

Guard Your Heart

2006-09-06T16:36:00.000-04:00

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4:23

It is the wellspring of life? Wellspring-origin, fountainhead, source...of life; the origin of your existence, the source of who you are. Your heart defines your character, it is the core of your beliefs, your values and your motives. God sees your heart. Seems pretty important doesn't it? It's not something you should wear on your sleeve for all the world to see, to mock, to steal. A heart should be hidden in Christ. Your source of life should be found in Christ, not on notebook paper surrounding the name of someone who may or may not reciprocate your feelings. God sent His son to die on a cross for you, it would seem a no brainer that your heart should belong to Him. Yet daily we devote our passions to things of this world that will not matter in the long run; to things that will not last.
Sadly, it's really easy for me to get on a soap box and speak about matters of the heart, but it's hard for me to apply this to my own life. My heart has lived on my sleeve for so long now. It's difficult for me to guard myself from the attention and "cloud 9" experiences of romantic feelings, but God has a more consistent love for me. God has a love that will not disappoint me on days when another girl looks better than I do; a love that will not play with my emotions; a love that will surpass any type of love that I have ever known (or not known). God is my rock, so you can call my heart Excalibur. Until my rock releases my heart, I will guard my heart in Him. With that, I'm out like the New Kids on the Block.

At a Low

2006-08-15T22:25:00.000-04:00

So, I've been massively busy. In this chaos that I call life lately, I've sacraficed time with God for various forms of busy-ness. I can feel it. To my core, I feel it. I feel the chains of sinful nature attempting to wrap themselves around my arms and legs and drag me back to the bondage of resisting my faith. Right here in this moment I feel helpless, yet I know that the only ONE I can fall back on is the very ONE I have been denying daily. There's only one solution. Get back to the basics. I need to spend more time in prayer and more time in God's word. He is the only rock that I can stand on. Life brings many disappointments and heartaches, yet God will stand through the rockiest storms of life. Like the song says, "Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm Oh no you never let go, every high and every low, oh no you never let go, Lord you never let go of me!" God doesn't let me go. He's seen me through it and now "I can see the light that is coming, for the heart that holds on." Knowing that I have hope in Christ is all that I need knowledge of. So with that, I'm out like me...I was the fat kid in dodge ball!

Blah de blah blah blah

2006-08-11T22:12:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. I've been SUPER busy. Sunday I moved in at AU and I've been going ever since. Wow...it feels good to sit down and chill for a while. Not really much to write, not in a writing mood--just wanted to let you know I was still here and hadn't fallen off the face of the earth. With that, I'm out.

Thankful

2006-08-03T12:35:00.000-04:00

The lunch buzzer just sounded here at Hendricks Fabrication, Inc. and after twenty minutes of listening testosterone driven, Godless conversation I'm thankful. I'm so thankful that God has placed some amazing Christian men in my life that encourage me and set a standard for my dating relationships. Knowing the guys that I know has truly saved me from distructive relationships that could have been detrimental to my walk with God. I know that there are men out there who strive to serve God daily. There are guys who respect a woman for her relationship with God and see her as more than a possession or something they seek to conquer. There are men who treat women as sisters in Christ rather than arm candy to make them look good. Praise God for the Christian men in my life; they are the true men. With that, I'm out like Sammy Sosa on a bat-breaker.

Baby Steps

2006-08-02T14:36:00.000-04:00

i ♥ this poem.

I'm Just Me

2006-07-28T10:13:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt God's calling in such a strong and unexplainable way that it brought tears to your eyes? You see something and you just feel it, at the center of who you are--you feel a tug on your heart. I know that God has called me to teach English. There is no doubt about that. A lot of my friends have other callings; some of them being foreign missions. So, this morning (in my state of boredom) I started investigating different mission opportunities that several of my friends have mentioned, only to accidentally come upon one that grabbed my heart in such a way that I seriously had tears in my eyes. I've never done that before, so undoubtedly when that first tear rolled down my cheek, I was like "WHAT in the WORLD?!" Just in case you are wondering, this is what grabbed me--the chance to teach overseas or in South America.
This is the point when I started talking back to God. It went a little something like this, "Lord, I'm just a country girl from Pickens with plans graduate from college and teach at a small high school or middle school in South Carolina. I have to teach in South Carolina for four years to pay back my Teaching Fellows scholarship. I'm just me. How could I ever relate to people from a foreign country?" Then I shut up because the more I read the more I realized how much bigger God is than my plans for me. I found another set of pearls that I don't want to let go of--my future. I have plans for myself, but God has bigger and more amazing plans than I could ever dream of. This shouldn't be scary to me.
This is where I share a little bit more that shows how God's plans are so much bigger than mine. As of right now, if I were to take two summer classes next summer I could graduate a semester early. However, with the extra hours I would have if I were to stay for that final semester, I could possibly earn a minor. I actually considered a Spanish minor...and now God is calling me to use my teaching in places I never imagined. WOW. This excites me! It excites me so much that I just want to start planning everything...then I realize that it's not up to me. This is God's vision. He'll clarify more if I patiently wait on Him. Seriously, look at how He used my boredom this morning. He's using the desires of my heart to fulfill His plan for me in ways I never thought possible. CRAZY!!! After all that, I'm extremely speechless. So, with that, I'm out.

Praxis

2006-07-27T18:42:00.000-04:00

After three hours in the testing center today, I passed the writing and reading part of the PRAXIS I! WOOHOO In three weeks I'll get the results back for the writing portion. Just thought I would share that little tidbit...thanks for the prayers! With that I'm out like the sun, cuz it is BLAZIN today!

What Are Your Pearls?

2006-07-26T00:58:00.000-04:00

Jenny's Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.
"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma." As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her piggy bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores. She went to the neighbor, Mrs. McJames, and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother had told her that if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."
"Then may I have your pearls?"
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."
"That's okay, honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then will you give me your pearls?"
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."
"That's okay, Honey. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. When she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you." With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the prized necklace. With the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case. He handed the handsome velvet case to Jenny and told her, "Thank you for giving me your most prized possesion that you even saved for all by yourself. Here Honey, I have this for you also. I wanted to trade you, but I was going to give these to you tonight either way."
As Jenny pryed open the blue velvet box, so nice a thing itself she'd never known, the glistening white sheen of the rich genuine pearls struck her teary eyes.

All of that said to say this; imagine yourself as Jenny and God as Jenny's dad. To show we love God, sometimes we have to open up our hand and let something go--only for God to place His best in our possession. Tonight after spending time with some Godsent friends of mine I realized that God is calling me to let something go. To be honest, God is calling me to let go of a crush (Yes, I am still a silly little girl with a crush). It dawned on me on the ride home tonight. Earlier today I read part of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge that showed me more about the role of woman. In Genesis, Eve is referred to in Hebew as the ezer kenegdo which has been translated to mean "helper" or "companion" or "help meet"-whatever that's supposed to mean. But what John and Stasi emphasize is that further studies of the word ezer have shown that it is only used twenty other times in the Bible, each time referring to the lifesaving power of God that we are desperate for. While ezer means desperately needed help, kenegdo is translated as alongside, opposite, or counterpart. So, what I got from this is that woman's role is to encourage and give the man in her life the help that he desperately needs to grow in Christ. Tonight it struck me that I could not be this for my said crush (not because I'm not a woman of God or that I'm not good enough, but because we are at two different places in our lives and in our walks with Christ). He deserves an ezer kenegdo, a woman who is uniquely capable of helping him grow daily in his walk with Christ. So my prayer tonight is that God continues to reveal His divine vision for me daily and that my ex-crush will be blessed with an amazing woman who can serve him and help him be the amazing man of God that I know he is capable of being. It's definitely going to be a challenge to give that up, but sometimes you just have to let go of the pearls. With that, I'm out like the lights, b/c I'm up way too late.

BLAH

2006-07-25T13:57:00.000-04:00

I cannot wait until tonight. Do you ever just have a lousy day? Today is one of those days. I woke up only to turn off my alarm and fall back asleep...to wake up again to a different alarm--severe pain in my lower stomach. Mom discovered me curled up in a ball about ten minutes after I woke and made an appointment w/ Doctor Debbie who sent me to my favorite place in the world--and I mean that with the sincerist sarcasm, Easley Baptist Medical Center, for a procedure that called for my bladder to be full for an entire hour while a lady pressed on my stomach. NOT FUN! Only to wait for the results tomorrow that I already know what the outcome is going to be because I've been through this whole process before. FRUSTRATION! (Side note-don't worry it's nothing life threatening, or life changing...just a little minor thing that can be cleared up with some meds...but it is painful, so pray for me) Luckily, my friend Brittney called just in the nick of time to volunteer to join me in a voyage to downtown G-vegas; the get-away much needed after today. So when Brit gets off work @ 5, my day will be on its way to melting away in a nice steamy cup of java and classic conversation. Thank God for coffee and friends. With that...I'm out like my patience BEFORE my cup of coffee.

Rareness

2006-07-24T11:17:00.001-04:00

Just thought I would share that for a good laugh! This is the first, last, and only picture of me as a cheerleader at the chubby cheeked age of 7. This is a rare find, so enjoy.

Speaking of rare finds, I must say that I am SO blessed with the most amazing friends. Last night I began to realize how God has strategically placed amazing people in my life at the exact moment that He intended. I have guy friends who are absolutely amazing--guys who pay me compliments and protect me as a sister in Christ. I have amazing girl friends who are always there for me with an ear to listen and arms wide open. I am truly blessed with some absolutely amazing friends. I know I always have someone to lean on. On that, I'm out like Neil Diamond.

The Dance

2006-07-23T14:40:00.000-04:00

I've recently discovered that my walk with God isn't exactly a walk, it's more of a dance. God wants to take the lead and move me to the rhythm of His grace. However, there are times when it is hard for me to allow Him to lead because I want to go a different direction than He wants to take me, or He wants to dip me into His will and I'm just not ready or willing. When I try to take the lead I mess up the dance and make my life look like a one legged ostrich on crack doing the hokey pokey to the musical stylings of Neil Diamond. Even though I do mess up the dance, God wants to make my life as beautiful as it possibly can be. Isn't it awesome to think that God loves me so much that He wants to dance with me everyday for the rest of my life. I love to dance, so this is a beautiful thought for me. With that...I'm out like that one legged ostrich in a dance competition.

Random Babblings

2006-07-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

Note the pug in this picture...this will be me next Thursday just before I take the Praxis I. This very expensive test partially determines my acceptance into the College of Education @ Anderson U. Pray that God will grant me peace about this and that I will pass this stinking thing the first time so that I don't have to pay to take it again. Preesh!
Anywho...I was just reading my friend Brittney's blog and of all things, she had a list. If you read my previous blog The List, then you know I am obsessed with lists. It's my lunch break, I am bored...and so I am stealing Brit's idea and making a list much like the one on her blog. Her list consisted of her favorite lyrics from various songs. So...this is my list. Feel free to comment if you like the lyrics and would like to know the song or artist.

Painted skies, I've seen so many that cannot compare to your ocean eyes.

I see heaven in your eyes And feel God movin in this room Ain't love the greatest gift of all Ain't it amazing what desire can do

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend Capture my heart again

As I look off into the distance Watching the sun roll on by Beautiful colors all around me, oh Painted all over the sky The same hands that created all of this They created you and I What a beautiful God

Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea Would call out through the rain And calm the storm in me

I thought I could resist you I thought that I was strong Somehow you were different from what I've known I didn't see you coming You took me by surprise and You stole my heart before I could say no

Do you like midnight dancing, soaked in fireflies, laced with moonlight, hidden in the night?

She's the kind of girl who let's music do the talking, she dances while she's walking next to me

Filling pages with the same old secrets I still want just you Blackbird on a lonely wire do you think about me too

As the ruby in the setting As the fruit upon the tree As the wind blows over the plains So are you to me

You changed it all You broke down the wall When I spoke and confessed In You I'm blessed Now I walk in the light In victorious sight of You

On the edge of the world She'd rather jump than just look down

Look in my eyes, what do you see? Not just the color Look inside of me

I bet you never had a clue But I'd do anything to be with you I'd leave this place in a heartbeat I'd move away from my sweet home Just to be your faithful tag-along I'd follow you forever

Hope you enjoyed my sparatic ramblings today. I'm a bit ADD at the moment, but what's new, right? With that, I'm out like my adderall. ( I don't really take adderall, but if I did, the way I'm acting right now would be how I would act when it is out...just in case you were wondering.)

Pressure Washing Prayer

2006-07-19T14:04:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been asking God to change my attitude about dating and to show me what I was doing wrong because I know that the way I look at dating and my whole approach to the issue is totally out of whack. So, this morning, while I was pressure washing @ work--yes, I was pressure washing--I was praying that God would show me how to glorify Him in all that I do when God revealed to me that this is where I was going wrong--I've been dating to satisfy myself. I should take each date as an opporunity to show someone the love of God and to point them towards Jesus rather than myself. So that was definitely a breath of fresh air. This also helped me to realize why God is still waiting to allow someone special to cross my path. He is still teaching me so many things about Himself and how I can better serve Him. Wow...maybe I should pressure wash more often. With that, I'm out like bell bottom jeans.

The List

2006-07-18T20:22:00.000-04:00

Yes, this is my second blog of the day, but I feel it necessary to make up for lost time when I skipped a week of writing. Besides, I am a blog writing fiend. While being a blog writing fiend, I am a list writing queen. I make lists when I'm bored. One such list started at the beginning of last semester. I took the list with me to class each day and when I got bored I would day dream and add more to the list. "What is this list?" You may be asking yourself right now. This list, it is THE LIST of all lists. This is the list of things that make me smile. Things I love. More could probably be added, but this is the sum total of things I placed on my list throughout this semester. With no further adieu, I give you THE LIST (in no particular order, except for the first one):

I ♥ JESUS, Gieco commercials, French Vanilla capuccino, volleyball, reading, wild flowers, hiking, mountains, beaches, Matthew McCaughnehey, 4-wheeling, flip-flops, picnics, Brewsters ice cream, kids, golf, Clemson, fleece blankets, YOUTH MINISTRY, Reeces, Will Hoge, giraffes, Burt's Beeswax, Goodwill, cobalt blue, big trucks, Applebees, hands, beta fish, flat pillows, antiques, Mork & Mindy, small towns, drawing, downtown G-Vegas, beagles, acoustic guitars, unique picture frames, concerts, bottle caps, coffee houses, MY Atlanta Braves, sunglasses, camouflage, painting, frisbee golf, gaudy earrings, summer thunderstorms, football, t-shirts, breakfast, Texas Hold 'Em, random greeting cards, the lake, Chick-fil-a biscuits, The Price is Right, individuality, swings, peanut butter cookies, handkerchiefs, TJ Maxx, lap tops, bargains, Aquafina, Scrabble, learning, purses, shoes, Redbull, seahorses, Carhartts, laughing, baseball caps, Alf, battle scars, accents, onomatopoeia, ultimate frisbee, rollercoasters, English, Shakespeare, Granny Smith apples, Shel Silverstein, TEACHING, poetry, worship, new car smell, Old Spice deodorant, memories, decorating, Dirty Dancing, a clear night sky, my friends, inside jokes, writing, smiling, White Cherry Blossom by Bath & Body Works, ZZ Top, and LOVE!

If you read through that, I applaud you! I hope you enjoyed my random boredom inspired list for Spring Semester '06 @ good ol' Anderson U. Maybe there will be another boredom inspired list for Fall Semester '06. We shall see. Until next time, stay classy San Diego...I mean I'm out like the feeling in my rear end from sitting here long enough to type that list.

Blog Stalker

2006-07-18T15:51:00.000-04:00

I am officially a blog stalker. It started off innocent enough--I would simply read the blogs of the people I knew. Then, it spread to the people's blog's listed on my friends pages. And now I have become addicted. Anyway...while I was giving in to this new found addiction today I came across the blog of a guy named Ben. I don't even know him or how I ended up at his blog, it just happened through my course of "blog jumping". After reading a few of his entries I realized how God was speaking to me through his blog. Something he had written just struck a chord with me. It went a little something like this:
"I've said it before, but I don't think God wants us to worry about relationships, or finding a wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend. I just don't. To me, walking alone means freeing oursleves to focus on God's vision for our lives, instead of focusing on making a relationship work. And if God wants us to be with the other person, then He will make our paths cross at the right time and place. Pretty simple..."
I pray that God will bless me with this attitude. I want to be completely satisfied with God and consumed with Him; rather than straying off the path to attempt to enjoy someone or something that might be a detour, I want to stay on the beautiful road God has chosen for me so that I can glorify Him in all that I do.
While I have struggles here and there, I have to say that God is doing some amazing things in my life right now:
1. I used to struggle with my confidence, but now I have friends that are constantly encouraging me. They are such a blessing, I love you guys!
2. I prayed that God would surround my sister with Jesus-loving friends and after two visits to Ignite, God has done that.
3. My mom and I used to argue, a lot--but God is teaching me daily how to serve and love my mom rather than argue with her.
4. My home group is one of the most amazing groups of women I have ever met. God has blessed me with accountability and people who can help me grow in my walk.
5. God is constantly speaking to me, even in the most random ways and random moments. He rocks my face off!
The list could pretty much go on forever. I serve an awesome God. There is nothing like the joy He gives me! On that, I'm out--like me when 4:30 rolls around!

I DISLIKE JUNIPER

2006-07-17T11:49:00.000-04:00

This is juniper. It is the plant world equivalent of satan, I'm thoroughly convinced. Let me explain. To make some money this summer my dad so graciously decided to give me a job. My understanding was that I would be answering phones and doing busy work entering bills, etc.-your typical secretary. Little did I know that I would soon become the go-fer, the landscaper, the cleaning lady, AND the secretary. Who knew I could be so versatile?
Today was landscaping day. So, I've been outside all morning cleaning out the flower bed beside their 18-wheeler dock-aka weed city. Upon removing all of the weeds I realized that the flower bed had been overtaken by the juniper and it's running roots. Thus, I began to attempt to pull it up. Impossible. Next I took the shovel and jammed it underneath attempting to pull it up by that method-no good either. Lastly, I took the shears and cut the problem off at the root. During all this I began to think about how life is a lot like that flower bed. When left alone without the touch of a gardener, things get out of hand and overrun by weeds and roots. When our life isn't touched my the One who tends our garden, we get overrun by sin and everything that has the potential to be beautiful becomes an ugly mess. Thank God for shears! And thank God for lunch...I'm out like the weeds I got rid of this morning!

20-Something

2006-07-15T12:33:00.000-04:00

Thus far in my life I have come to the conclusion that the age of 20 is the most confusing, pivotal, crazy, & amazing year of your life. Confusing-there are so many decisions to make in this year of life-college major, relationships, lifestyle choices, moral decisions...you name, you're probably deciding it at this age. Pivotal-due to the confusing choices and decisions aforementioned, I think that this one is already explained. Crazy- this is the age when you begin to realize you are growing up all of a sudden, therefore there are times when you revert back to your childish ways and attempt to have as much fun as possible before you have to become a real adult. Amazing-friendships are born, new paths are chosen, adventure is at your fingertips...being 20 isn't all that bad; sometimes scary, but not all that bad. Looking back over the last 3 years I realize what a difference a year makes. I spend time with people who are a few years ahead of me and sometimes I feel as if I can relate and others, I feel like I am totally lost; all part of growing up, I guess. I'm just so thankful that I am a 20 year old who knows Jesus. If it weren't for God's guidance and hand in my life...I would be one messed up individual. On that, I'm out like the Diet Green Tea with Citrus because I'm about to drink the last one (mwuahahahahaha).

Poetic Musings

2006-07-14T12:52:00.000-04:00

Here's a rough copy of my thoughts today poured into the mold of a slightly impromptu poem.

As I sit here today
Surrounded by walls

That are papered so gray
I wonder

Much bigger than mine
God has a plan
He holds my future
In the palm of His hand
And I trust Him
Still I wonder

Is the desire of my heart
One divinely planted
Or is this temptation?
I can’t take for granted
But I trust Him
Yet I wonder

Who can love
Someone ragged as me
Even though I am
A daughter of the King
I trust this
And still wonder

Is there a prince
Who can see past the sin
That covers my crown
And pulls me down again
I wonder

And while I wonder
This I know
Grace covers me
Makes me white as snow
His majesty is seen
He shines through it all
And gives me wings
So I don’t have to fall
So I trust Him
While I wonder

It's still a rough copy-many things to edit about it. Yet, it still provides a since of the scrambled thoughts I have today. So scrambled. Anywho...I'm out like Lee McD @ the Carpentar's Cellar tonight (don't miss it, even thought I'm going to).

Song of the Day

2006-07-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

Check out Save Yourself here.

Gotta Have Faith

2006-07-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
--"Walk by Faith" Jeremy Camp

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

It's such a comfort to know that my Father has a plan for me. A plan that is greater than I could ever ask or imagine. Yet, daily I try to go on with my own plan for my life. I'm constantly trying to take control and, being the stubborn being that I am, constantly falling flat on my face for trying to go at things alone. It's amazing how different a relationship or a decision can be when God's hand is in it. He has truly shown me this week that I am weak without Him and I cannot do this on my own. This is my struggle. Faith. Pray for me, that I will have faith in God's plan for me rather than taking matters into my own hands. I don't want to settle for mediocrity. I want to glorify God in all that I do. 'Preciate the prayers in advance! On that, I'm out like the weakest link...GOODBYE!

A little jolt never hurt anybody

2006-07-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

Do you ever just feel like that little kid that knows not to stick a paper clip in the light socket b/c mom said it was wrong. Not until you get that jolt that shows you just how right mom was do you realize that you knew it was going to hurt all along. Well, right now, I sort of feel like that little kid. Only this isn't the first time I've gone and gotten myself shocked.
I'm horrible at relationships. ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. I've tried so much to defend myself from the enemy, but it's no use. I haven't allowed God to be my spiritual fortress, so my defenses are down. Rather than hiding my heart in God, I've left the poor thing dangling on my sleeve. Just when I thought that I was growing so strong in my walk with God, speeding down the spiritual highway...I allow myself to get caught up and throw the thing reverse without lifting my foot off the gas. That spells disaster. That's why I'm still up at almost midnight. Rather than whispering in my ear telling me to stop what I'm doing, God is all up in my grill tonight. Thanks God, I definitely needed that jolt! On that note...I'm out like MC Hammer's money.

Hello Stranger!

2006-07-10T12:34:00.001-04:00

It's definitely been 10 days since my last blog. I went on vacay last week to Chucktown so I've been out of comission for about a week. Sorry to those who missed me....and sorry to disappoint, however, I just finished cutting the grass around my dad's shop so, I'm not in a very creative/writing/blogging mood. Just wanted to let my readers know I didn't fall off of the face of the earth. When I get into the blogging mood I will be sure to leave you faithful blog stalkers some juicy tidbits about my adventures over the past week. Until then, I'm out like my energy after driving the Kabota tractor all morning.

Finally, Into Marvelous Light

2006-06-30T23:10:00.000-04:00

WOW...what a night!! I just got back from the benefit concert that our praise band put on at the William A. Floyd amphitheater at the Civic Center. Let me tell you, God rocked my socks off! Worshipping is incredible, but when you get to do so with so many amazing friends, it becomes just that much more of a blessing. While I was basking in His glory along with some wonderful people, God really just reached down and touched my heart tonight. During the song, "Fire Fall Down" there is a part that says "'Cause I know that you're alive, you came to fix my broken life, I'll sing to glorify your holy name, Jesus Christ!" and then another part that says "I'll never be the same." And God just kept speaking to me and showing me how much He has changed me in the past year of my life. Those reading this blog that knew me a year ago know that I am a totally different person. I owe all the thanks and glory to my one and only Savior. I recently started reading through some of Paul's letters starting with Galatians and throughout I could absolutely connect with Paul. I was wrapped up in a sinful life, one that I knew was wrong because I had a relationship with God since I was very young.
In this verse, which has been the title of my blog before, Paul just spills his heart. "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life" 1 Timothy 1:15-16. That verse blows me away and gives me so much hope at the same time. To think that a year ago I was drenched in a crimson stain but because He brought me to fall on my face at FCA on October 24, 2005 and give my life back to Him instead of running, He wants to use my messed up life to glorify him. Now that is true power! So now, instead of running towards sin and away from God…INTO MARVELOUS LIGHT I’M RUNNING, OUT OF DARKNESS OUT OF SHAME! BY THE CROSS YOU ARE THE TRUTH! YOU ARE THE LIFE! YOU ARE THE WAY!-sorry I just had to burst into song! What?! Jesus has that effect on me! So, I just really felt God lay it on my heart to spill how great His glory, how vast His mercy, and how unending His power is. But don’t take my word for it. Check out these verses, too—Ephesians 2:1-10. It’s beautiful! With that, I’m out like all of my clothes in the middle of my floor—give me a break, I’m packing for the beach!

P.S. Marissa (probably spelling your name wrong) thanks for the verbal props to my blog tonight! It's nice to know that even though they may not leave comments, people are reading and maybe even getting something from my blog. Thanks chick! YOU SERIOSLY ROCK! :-)

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's...Jesus

2006-06-28T09:32:00.000-04:00

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's...Jesus. You were expecting me to say Maybelline, weren't you? For all you guys out there that don't know what I am talking about, this is a popular catch phrase for the makeup company Maybelline, New York. While I was getting ready this morning, putting on my own makeup actually, I overhead the television downstairs which was tuned in to an infomercial on Sheer Cover makeup (not associate with Maybelline ,New York). Some of the ear-catching phrases included "It will change your day, it will change your week, it will change the way people perceive you." "We have a GREAT GREAT GREAT product here." "It changed my life." More women went on to say that it was such a life changing, pivotal aspect of their life that they had to tell all of their friends about it. Women, when you find a new type of makeup that just gives you this GLOW that you've never had before-do you feel the need to tell your friends about it? More than likely, the answer is yes. Think about it. You're sitting around having coffee, or whatever it is you drink, with your best girlfriends and someone compliments your skin and then you go on this twenty minute schpeel about your new makeup and how they just MUST try it. Here's the twist. How awesome would it be if the next time someone complimented you on your glow, or your appearance if you gave God the glory. Don't you agree that he is a "GREAT GREAT GREAT product." He's also able to "change your day...change your week...change the way people perceive you." Wouldn't you say God is more worthy than the makeup company that produces your favorite cover up? This hit me really hard because I was really caught up in this infomercial and thinking "man I have got to try this stuff" when God spoke to me. It went a little something like this:
Me (thinking): Man, this stuff is awesome! It can cover up anything.
God: Hey...Megan. You know, my son can cover up more than that makeup. He covers the sin of the world.
Me: Wow, you're right. I've got to write this down!
And here I am now, writing this blog about how Jesus is better than makeup. Here's the challenge. Ladies-when you start to give a makeup company or a clothes manufacturer the glory for your appearance, give God the glory for the beautiful creation of yourself. You are beautiful inside and it shows through. With that, I'm out like the sunshine on the B-E-A-Utiful day!

Upward Influence

2006-06-27T23:41:00.000-04:00

Lately I've really felt God speaking to me in BIG ways and satan has been fighting it tooth and nail. He's throwing everything he's got at me...too bad God always wins. If I were to try to do things on my own I would fail miserably, but through God's grace and power I am safe from these attacks. Anywho...the BIG plans satan is trying to bash are the plans that my friend Brittney and I have to create a Christian magazine for girls--one with a Christian approach to the issues addressed in Cosmo, etc; an approach that is creative and relevant, just like our church (NewSpring). Check out Brit's blog, also under my link list, for more info about our magazine concept. By now you are probably wondering, "So what does 'Vertical' have to do with this blog? Well, that is Brit's design for the cover of our mag. Vertical, an Upward Influence. For more on the creative aspects, seriously check out Brit's blog. She's brilliant. On that, I'm out like me--I was the fat kid in dodge ball!

Beck's B-day

2006-06-27T09:53:00.000-04:00

My little sister is 14 today...14!! It seems like just yesterday she was just learning how to knock on my door, then picking my lock, and now she's all grown up and stealing my clothes when I'm not looking. Even though the six year difference has proven a huge gap at times, I love her so much and I know that God has some big plans for her. She is so amazing! I know, I am biased, but I think that she is the prettiest girl in the world and that I am going to have to beat the boys off with a stick when she goes to high school next year. Ahhh geez! She'll be driving soon! That scares me! I feel like such a mother now. Anywho...that's all I've got for now. I'm out like J-Lo in a...you get the picture.

Styrofoam Cups and Puzzles

2006-06-25T15:27:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt like a styrofoam cup--a styrofoam cup full of Jesus? I have. Bare with me here as I attempt to explain my wild comparison. There are situations and people in life that can sometimes poke holes in your spiritual life (aka your cup), causing Jesus to be drained out of you. There are also people and situations which make you feel as if the holes have been repaired and you are filling back up again. While the getting filled part sounds a whole lot better than the being drained part, think of it this way--while you are being drained, Jesus is pouring out of you onto others (I think that there is a parable about this in the Bible except talking about water jugs and cracks and my Bible is in my car because I'm about to leave to go to Ignite; anywho, if someone reading this knows what I am talking about, feel free to comment). At the time, these draining sessions can seem like they are not from God--but trust is an absolute must when you feel spiritually drained. Trust that Jesus will fill you back up. To be filled back up though, you have to be willing to pour yourself into His Word and commit yourself to Jesus loving fellowship. Today at lunch was one such example.
After church I had the blessed opportunity to go to lunch with several wonderful people that share my passion for youth ministry. We had an absolute blast joking around and getting serious about our relationships with God. It was so encouraging and amazing to experience exactly what Perry talked about today in his sermon about running the Christian marathon. Companionship is essential to repairing and refilling your spiritual styrofoam cup. Funny how this ties into a conversation I was having with my friend Jeremy last night about relationships. At the time I thought that the conversation only related to romantic relationships, but it can apply to platonic relationships as well. People in relationships are like pieces of a puzzle. You see some pieces stuck together that don't quite fit like they should but they belong to the same puzzle creating a picture somewhat like that of Picasso with the picture distorted and out of whack; or you see two pieces that fit together, but are meant to make up two different puzzles with a big picture that is totally different like putting the Little Mermaid in the Star Wars special addition puzzle. Lastly, there are people that fit together perfectly with their big picture being that of the glory of Christ. How awesome would it be if we chose to glorify God with all our relationships? Sure, the pieces may start off looking like mismatches, but imagine if we poured out our cups so that Jesus may change those puzzle pieces and through us change the big picture of that relationship to His glory. That being said, in dating relationships I don't agree with Christians pairing with non-Christians (it's not biased, it's Biblical-2 Corinthians 6:14) but I do believe that we are called to meet people where they are and create relationships that will glorify God and show the love of Jesus so that we can make His name famous. Whew...I will get off my soap box now! I'm out like Ferris Bueller on his day off.

Poetry Night

2006-06-23T20:12:00.000-04:00

Pull out your coffee mugs, your snapping fingers, and your bean bag chair...it's poetry night! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is poetry night! I read Lee McD's blog earlier and his words just inspired me to write. I figured while I was at it I would share a few other's I've written--before my writer's block occurred. Enjoy, comment, & hopefully be inspired.

Untitled, until I know your name (6/23/06)

Everything happens for a reason
I guess that's why we've yet to meet
There are greater hands and greater plans
Over our heads , under His feet
I've messed up a time or two
But now I'll wait with patient eyes
Save my love and save my future
With my heart set towards the skies

Only peace from God can win me
His perfect love protects my soul
My heart is hidden in His hands
For my love to Him you'll go
So seek His word and seek His purpoose
While you wait to see my face
I pray that you will love me
But next to God, I'm second place

We'll begin with a seed of friendship
And we'll watch it grow with time
With God's Light and loving care
One faithful day I'll call you mine
But until we see that coming day
When God allows our love to bloom
I pray that God will bless your life
And hope He brings you to me soon

The Beauty of the Moon (12/21/2005)

The moon waxes and wanes with the fading of the days
Dancing in and out of sight with every changing phase
Depending on the sun for her inconsistent light
She cannot find the source within so she may shine as bright
Why must the moon seek light from an outward source,
Why is her beauty hidden with such a great remorse?

When the moon is full, with her borrowed light
She can make one stop and stare as she shines all through the night
Her beauty isn=t hidden when the sun gives all
But when the sun is absent, darkness soon will fall
The moon is new with the absence of her sun
But she continues looking for the light from her only one

The moon cannot appreciate the phase when she is new
A time to search for light within, instead of being blue
She only looks for brighter nights when her sun gives light at last
Even if the light is duller than the past
She takes what she can get, holds dear her crescent phase
Even when the sun gives her these lesser rays

So sad, the beauty of the moon cannot be independent
The concept of her own light seems utterly transcendent
I wish that she could see the inner beauty that she hides
Can she not see her reflection in the waters of the tides?
Until the day she sees the beauty on her own
The moon will shine with borrowed light as she has always shone.

I wrote this next one the day after we lost Miss Laura Leigh Tye 11/18/2005.

Two pinkies and an "A-urrr"

I'd give it all up just to see you again
You were not just a teammate, even more than a friend
You were a blessing, an angel on earth
Your smile and your laugh, we miss and it hurts
You’re loved and you’re missed, so incredibly much
If only you could see how many lives that you touched

Beth shanked you good at the truck stop that day
You were so mad, but you laughed anyway
You hated fruit, but I put that peel on your head
You tried to say Albuquerque, but said something else instead
"A-urrrr" you said, like all giraffes do
We can't help but miss you Lou!

We all know that you’re playing on God's volleyball team now
Get a kill for us Lou, we know you know how
Give God two high fives, even though you want one
And He'll hold up two pinkies when the game is won
Thanks for the laughs and the stories you told
We'll meet you soon on the streets of gold.

Thanks for checking out my poetry. There will be more in days to come as I am randomly inspired. With that...I'm out like my writer's block!

Everything Happens for a Reason...

2006-06-23T13:01:00.000-04:00

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc. 3:1-8

Ecc. 3:1 is my favorite verse in the Bible, it has been for a while now--since back in the day when I was reading from a New King James version and it sounded a little something like this, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." While this verse is dear to my heart, over the past two days I've encountered these verses three times in very different situations. The first time was yesterday while, of all things, I was watching the movie Footloose and Kevin Bacon quoted those verses. The second was last night while I was reading I Gave Dating a Chance. The third was earlier when I checked my comments on Myspace, someone had left a comment that was an icon which read, "Everything happens for a reason." So, it is possible that God is trying to tell me that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON? I think so! While, I'm not quite sure yet why He is showing me this, I have a feeling that I'm going to find out really soon. Whatever it is, I'm just saying "yes" to God because He "is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than ALL we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," (Eph. 3:20). On that note, I'm out like the Tigers in College World Series. :-(

It's a God Thing...

2006-06-22T09:13:00.000-04:00

Reading Perry Noble's blog this morning I came upong this quote at the end: "What has God called you to do? Is it to invite someone to church…change your major…reconcile a relationship…get out of debt…make a career change? It’s time–get off of your 'blessed assurance' and GO FOR IT! YEAH!" In an earlier blog I had mentioned that I felt God calling me to start a Christian magazine for girls. I hadn't mentioned that I had felt God calling me to lead a Bible study for the 8th grade girls from Ignite that are moving up to high school. Since I felt God's calling about the Bible study I had let go of the magazine idea--until this morning. It's funny how God catches you at the most random moments-I guess he does it in the moments that we can't make noise, when we must be still and allow him to speak. Well, I was in the shower thinking about this Bible study and then God spoke to me and brought my two callings together. It went a little something like this.

Me: God, I know that you want me to lead this Bible study, but I don't have any idea how to present your truth in a relevant way to them.
God: Well, don't they read those magazines you saw in the store the other day?
Me: OH WOW! You're calling wasn't necessarily to start a Christian magazine, but to show these girls a Jesus twist on articles that they read in their favorite magazines!

Guys, I'm not even joking. This idea was a Godsent because I know that I could never have put those two things together on my own. It's kinda cool how God showed me two things that he wanted to do with me that I thought had nothing to do with one another only to wait and listen to him and discover his intentions from the beginning. Isn't God awesome? He is so much bigger than my own thoughts and plans for my life. Gotta ♥ Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That's some powerful stuff. Chew on that one for a while! With that, I'm out like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on July 7!

I Want to be a Princess

2006-06-21T09:15:00.000-04:00

"Once upon a time, a young princess wandered through the woods. A nasty barbarous man spotted the lovely young princess and approached her. He offered her the "pleasure"of becoming his bride and living with him in the shack he called home.
After a quick look at this barbarian and his residence, the princess flatly refused. She told him she would never marry a man who couldn't respect himself or his home. She wanted someone honorable like her father, the king. Then off she went to the beautiful castle.
The barbarian was crushed.
In the following days, he couldn't get the pure and noble princess out of his mind. Finally he vowed to win her, no matter what. He decieded that the only way to do this was to become a noble man himself.
He observed the king from afar, watching his actions and listening to his speech. He noticed and admired the king's integrity and dignity. The kings character captivated the barbarian. He wanted to be just like him. He still longed to marry the princess, but now his desire to become as noble as the king exceeded even his love for the princess.
Slowly but surely, as the barbarian modeled his behavior after the king, his appearance and manner were refined. He also worked long and hard to transform his home into a beautiful estate surrounded by well-tended gardens.
Finally he felt ready to approach the princess once more. This time the princess was so impressed that she promised to consider his request to become his bride. Eventually the two were wed, and (you guessed it) lived happily ever after." Jeramy Clark I Gave Dating a Chance

I recently started reading I Gave Dating A Chance after talking with a friend about Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Last night while reading I came across this story and it really intrigued me. Since reading it I've really been chewing on its meaning and just how I can apply this story to my life. In the past, I haven't said no to the barbarians. I've accepted them as they were instead of caring enough to point them toward my King. My selfish desires to have someone love me had overtaken my desire to make my Lord's name famous. This also shows me where my faith is weak. I haven't trusted God enough with my ENTIRE life. Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I struggle with allowing God to take control of my relationships. This is why I have really and honestly tried not to date over the past nine months. I knew that I wasn't ready to allow God to have that part of my life--I still struggle with allowing him to have it. I want God to completely consume me and control my character before I enter into a relationship with anyone. I want to be so in love with Jesus that whoever the young man is that God places in my life falls more in love with Jesus the more time he spends with me. That's another reason why I know that I am not ready to date. I still have that selfish desire to be the center of a guy's attention. This leads to another reason why I know that the young man God places in my life will have to be strong enough in his walk with Christ to lead us both. I'm barely strong enough to lead myself, I need someone to lead me. So, what this story pointed out to me in a nutshell is this: 1) I need to have faith in God's plan for me in relationships 2) Just say no to barbarians 3) I want to fall more in love with Jesus so that I can help my future boyfriend fall more in love with Jesus rather than falling in love with me. This time I'm spending growing in my walk with God is priceless and I would not change it for love or money. Jesus rocks my socks off! One that note, I'm out like lighters during the ballad at a rock concert.

P.S. My aunt just came over and took me back to my childhood days by bringing me Chewy Spree and a Dr Pepper-a snack she used to bring me at every visit! :-) I am 20 years old and this still makes me smile. Like my g-pa Chastain always used to say, "It's the little things in life." Then he would call me May-gweel...and that made me smile, too!

Power of the Word

2006-06-20T11:09:00.000-04:00

As I sit in this grungy office of my dad's metal fabrication shop answering phones while reading blogs of some of the coolest people on the face of the planet, I truly feel empowered by the awesomeness of God. After last week at the Gauntlet, I'm still on a spiritual high from witnessing the salvation and baptism of so many young people. I pray that I never come down. In this moment of passion and amazement I cannot help but cry out to Jesus and thank him for his glory and splendor; even though I'm here at work surrounded by fervent non-believers who bash my beliefs and my passion for Christ every chance they get. Sadly the large percentage of these individuals are men in my family. However, because of this fire God has stoked in my heart I am prepared to let go and let God fight this battle today. My prayer is that any words that come from my mouth today would be straight from God alone, straight from his word. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 So, as I put on the full armor of God, pray that this battle would be God's alone and that I would be humble enough to set myself aside and allow God to work through me. It's all for his glory. With that, I'm out like the toilet paper in the women's bathroom...which I'm going to fix-right now!

Big props to God for being random!

2006-06-19T22:12:00.000-04:00

Due to recent discovery of soreness in muscles I didn't know I had and bruises from my pitiful attempts at wakeboarding I was forced to recall the incident that occurred yesterday. During this recollection period I began to understand just how random God is. It's awesome that he is so random, much like me-that's how we roll! Anywho, I began to stew over the reasons why I did not succeed at wakeboarding. Doc was trying to tell me just to slide my butt to the board and the power of the boat would do the rest, but I couldn't follow those simple instructions because I had to feel like I was in control. So, much to my dismay I would get up and then "gracefully" face plant-if there is such a thing. Much like Doc, God's word gives me simple instructions and tells me to let the power of God do the rest. When I try to take control of my life- much like when wakboarding, I fall flat on my face! Isn't it awesome how God can speak to us even through the most random things? Big props to God for being random! WOOHOO On that note, I'm out like earplugs at the giftshop in the opera house.

2 face plants & 10 gallons of lake water

2006-06-18T21:27:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm usually pretty natural at most sports...not being egotistical, just the truth! I have no room to be over confident after bouncing a particularly large check the my hiney couldn't cash-I found my "waterloo". For Dad's Day my fam headed out to the lake to chill with mom's clan and the friendly neighborhood Doc was going to take us girls out to wake board. Well, I've never tried before, and being the athlete that I thought I was-I was determined to try it and be good at it on the first try. After watching my cousin get up easily and make wake boarding look like a joke, I was prepared to get up on the first try and start jumping waves. I found out pretty quick that God has a great since of humor when it comes to pride. Two face plants, an all natural enema and the consumption of 10 gallons of lake water later I could no longer feel my ankles, so I decided that I had learned enough for the day and that I would wait until the lake was a little less choppy before I tried again. So, God taught me a little lesson in pride today. I was humbled greatly, especially in the several moments when I thought I might drown. Other than that I would have to say this was a fantastic Father's Day b/c my family came to church with me this morning. That's been my prayer for SO long now and it really made my century for my parents to be able to see just why I am so on fire for God. This fire isn't going out either! Look out Anderson, the youth group is back in town and we are fired up and ready to serve our Lord! On that note, I'm out like Baal after God lit Elijah's sacrifice! (1 Kings 18-19)