The Centennial Post

This my 100th post on this blog! HOW COOL IS THAT?! I so enjoy blogging, not just for the sheer joy of writing, but for the sheer joy of sharing what God is doing in my life and what he is teaching me. The point I want to make with this particular post is this.

Anything good, any good fruit that comes from me is not of myself, but of Christ who lives in me. Without him, I am a wretched heart, living only for myself. With him, I am a changed woman, a selfless lover of the hopeless. If you just happen on this blog and wonder what kind of crazy I've been smoking, I've been infused with the Holy Spirit and I have more joy in my savior Jesus Christ now that I ever did in the 19 years of my life before I really KNEW him.

I'll leave you with this

"For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
--II Corinthians 4:6-7

I love me when I am merely his jar of clay.

Little by Little

Mainstay "Become Who You Are"

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz you said that I would never want for anything again
But my eyes are set low
and I'm holding to the thing I know I can't keep

I keep on chasing the wrong things
and coming up empty
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake
And I'm finding each time that you fall,
you're just becoming who you are

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz I keep on searching for the answers that I don't need
I know I don't need

Mmmm...there is so much truth in those lyrics. Everytime I chase something that is away from the will of God, I come up empty and wanting more. When I am in the middle of the will of God, looking to him to fill me, I could never want for me. That's something hard for me to chew on. When I am not satisfied, I am not in the will of God. When I desire more, I am not following my Lord and savior. Man...that's hard, but AMAZING.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Something else God is teaching me, when we are saved, not everything is changed all at once. I listened to sermon from Elevation church last night from their "Confessions of a Pastor" Seris. This particular sermon was about committing the same sins over and over again and Pastor Steven Furtick read the following scripture:

You may say to yourselves, "These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?" But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. Moreover, the LORD your God will send the hornet among them until even the survivors who hide from you have perished. Do not be terrified by them, for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God. The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.
--Deuteronomy 7:17-22

I thought that my sin was stronger than me. With this passage God showed me that He is SO much bigger than my sin and he will drive it out if I allow him to. It will not be all at once, because if I reach perfection I would not need Jesus in my life, but little by little he will send the hornets and kill the sin in my life. Don't be discouraged if you struggle with this, too. The Lord your God is perfecting you little by little. Look to him to conquer your sins. You can't do it by yourself.

Sick

Pray for me. I'm pretty sick. I have a sinus infection from hades. Pray that God uses this time that I have to be still to speak to my heart and renew my affection for him.

Something's Missing

I feel like I haven't spoke to Will very much in the past few days. We saw each other tonight for dinner with my parents and that didn't even last an hour. I'm used to having at least 30 minutes to talk with him each day and for the past few days it's been maybe 5 because of my exams and his last week of class before exams. I miss my man. REALLY bad. Ha, quite honestly a little tear is rolling down my cheek right now. (Geez, I'm a sap) But the way I feel about Will tonight got me to thinking about other things.
How does God feel when we don't spend time with him? How does his heart ache? Does he shed a tear or two when he is missing us? Just something I'm pondering on.

A Childlike Priest

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.'" Matthew 18:1-5

Jesus calls us to be like little children. He even says that we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven if we are not like them. What exactly does he mean by that? For a very long time I have been perplexed by this scripture, but today I believe that my loving future husband and priest taught me this, unbeknownst to him.

Quite honestly there are times when I look at Will and I wish that he would just act his age. I wish that he would quit goofing off and face the issue at hand instead of joking around and making light of it. I laughed out loud as I wrote that b/c I can just imagine his beautiful smile when he knows I'm angry and he wants to make me laugh (even though that usually makes me more angry at the time). Today after church, we were goofing off and I caught myself getting frustrated because I wanted him to be serious and I said, "Man, we are going to have kids just like this." And that's when it hit me. I didn't say anything to him about this God given revelation, but I just studied him the rest of the time we were together. He laughed things off. He found joy in everything. He looked at everything around him with wonder and did everything he could to help me lighten up. Lately I've realized that I've been acting like a bitter old woman. I haven't lived like a child, full of wonder and letting the little annoying things go unnoticed. Instead, the little things have struck me and taken a little piece of joy and a little piece of youth each time.

Today Will really acted as my priest without even realizing it. In Proverbs 31, a godly woman is described as being able to laugh at the days to come. Thanks to the loving, amazing man in my life, I am now learning how to laugh at the days to come and take the little things in stride. Praise God for a man who knows how to be a child.

Disclaimer: I'm not condoning immaturity. There is a time and place for sincerity and there are situations that are not laughable, but because life is fleeting, the rest should be enjoyed and experienced in awe--like a child.