I'm Just Me

Have you ever felt God's calling in such a strong and unexplainable way that it brought tears to your eyes? You see something and you just feel it, at the center of who you are--you feel a tug on your heart. I know that God has called me to teach English. There is no doubt about that. A lot of my friends have other callings; some of them being foreign missions. So, this morning (in my state of boredom) I started investigating different mission opportunities that several of my friends have mentioned, only to accidentally come upon one that grabbed my heart in such a way that I seriously had tears in my eyes. I've never done that before, so undoubtedly when that first tear rolled down my cheek, I was like "WHAT in the WORLD?!" Just in case you are wondering, this is what grabbed me--the chance to teach overseas or in South America.
This is the point when I started talking back to God. It went a little something like this, "Lord, I'm just a country girl from Pickens with plans graduate from college and teach at a small high school or middle school in South Carolina. I have to teach in South Carolina for four years to pay back my Teaching Fellows scholarship. I'm just me. How could I ever relate to people from a foreign country?" Then I shut up because the more I read the more I realized how much bigger God is than my plans for me. I found another set of pearls that I don't want to let go of--my future. I have plans for myself, but God has bigger and more amazing plans than I could ever dream of. This shouldn't be scary to me.
This is where I share a little bit more that shows how God's plans are so much bigger than mine. As of right now, if I were to take two summer classes next summer I could graduate a semester early. However, with the extra hours I would have if I were to stay for that final semester, I could possibly earn a minor. I actually considered a Spanish minor...and now God is calling me to use my teaching in places I never imagined. WOW. This excites me! It excites me so much that I just want to start planning everything...then I realize that it's not up to me. This is God's vision. He'll clarify more if I patiently wait on Him. Seriously, look at how He used my boredom this morning. He's using the desires of my heart to fulfill His plan for me in ways I never thought possible. CRAZY!!! After all that, I'm extremely speechless. So, with that, I'm out.