A little jolt never hurt anybody

Do you ever just feel like that little kid that knows not to stick a paper clip in the light socket b/c mom said it was wrong. Not until you get that jolt that shows you just how right mom was do you realize that you knew it was going to hurt all along. Well, right now, I sort of feel like that little kid. Only this isn't the first time I've gone and gotten myself shocked.
I'm horrible at relationships. ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. I've tried so much to defend myself from the enemy, but it's no use. I haven't allowed God to be my spiritual fortress, so my defenses are down. Rather than hiding my heart in God, I've left the poor thing dangling on my sleeve. Just when I thought that I was growing so strong in my walk with God, speeding down the spiritual highway...I allow myself to get caught up and throw the thing reverse without lifting my foot off the gas. That spells disaster. That's why I'm still up at almost midnight. Rather than whispering in my ear telling me to stop what I'm doing, God is all up in my grill tonight. Thanks God, I definitely needed that jolt! On that note...I'm out like MC Hammer's money.