Wow

So, yet again, it has been a while since I've posted, but student teaching and wedding planning has caused life to blow by at break neck speeds. I really don't even have time to be doing this right now, but something so outrageously awesome happened in my life tonight that I could not, ABSOLUTELY could not pass up the chance to share it tonight.

Our service at Student Ministry tonight was about the book of Revelation, three things we should learn from it. One of the things was that Jesus is coming back, I know--something, I've always known, but presented and made real to me in a way that I hadn't considered in a LONG time. Brad Cooper, one of our youth pastors shared the truth of heaven and hell in such a powerful way that I was completely overwhelmed for the souls of those who were lost. He described those who don't know Christ as lost in a burning building while we know the way out. I realized in that moment that I am just standing on the curb watching people that I love burn. I am standing by and, quite honestly, telling them to go to hell while I rest on my blessed assurance and bask in my salvation. I know that is a lot to chew on, but this is not where the heart wrenching conviction really struck me.
While I was washed in the truth and inspired by the message during the time that I was still in the building, it wasn't until my drive home that God poured some frapping amazing knowledge on my heart. I was praying for my students at Palmetto and began to weep for their souls. I cried out to God and asked him if I could take their place. I wept and begged God to make me the lowest servant I could be, to give me patience and the capacity to love them despite how they try me...and then it hit me. What I was feeling at that moment was not even a fraction of what Christ felt before he went to the cross. I don't say what I prayed to bring glory to myself, but to show the depth of the love that Christ showed for each one of us. I didn't even realize the depth of what I was saying, but I knew that what I was praying was the outcry of my heart. Hearing God speak to my heart and show me why I was feeling what I was feeling was completely astonishing. The clarity and peace I felt at that moment was phenomenal. While I want to show my kids that love of Christ each day and attempt to SHOW them the gospel, I want to boldy proclaim Christ's death and resurrection without the fear of being fired or losing the job I've been promised for next year. So, if you're reading this and your pray, pray for me to be bold and share the gospel (with wisdom and respect). Losing your job is such a small sacrifice compared to handing naked on a cross. God will provide. Don't lose heart.