The Best is Yet to Come

Yesterday I wrote about putting up a monument for God and lately God's been showing me that I should reflect on the things that he's done in my life, the miracles he's performed and how far I've come. Sadly, while reflecting on these awesome moments in my life I felt hopeless. I've felt like I've already peaked and I'm just on my way out with nothing to look forward to. Approaching my graduation date, I don't want to leave college because it has been the best time of my life. Suffice it to say, I've been a bit nastalgic and unwilling to face the days to come. I prayed yesterday that my life would daily step closer to God and that I would reach the relationship that I once had with him. So I've thought a lot about what I did in the past and how I grew closer to God. This morning my awesome, powerful and wonderous God gave an answer during the 11:00 service @ church (NewSpring).

Ironically, this morning, Perry talked about how God is moving in amazing ways and that our best days are yet to come. He spoke from Exodus about the attitude of the Israelites and their relationship with God. He led them out of slavery, equipped them for life in the dessert, and led them by a pillar of clouds in the day and a pillar of fire at night. He didn't take them directly to their desination, but he took them by the way that he knew best. He loved his children, just as he loves me. He wants to do great things in my life, even after I've slipped, he loves me and he wants to see great things in my life. He wants to lead me to the promised land--an abundant life, serving him. If you want to pray for me, please pray that God would keep my feet on his path, that he would strengthen me, and that I would have an unquenchable desire to know him more and serve him selflessly. Also pray that I would not be distracted because when God moves, Satan moves to take our eyes off of Jesus. Pray that my eyes are captivated by the beauty of his face and that I would not come down from the wall (if you don't get that reference, check out Nehemiah...it's a pretty baller book). I'll leave you with a little hope from the Godbreathed lyrics of MercyMe's Hold Fast

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let goI
promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strifeI
s His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here it comes fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing stronger than my strife
Is Your grasp
So hold fast
Help is on the way
So hold fast He's come to safe the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is Your grasp
To hold fast

A Pile of Stones

In the Bible, in some instances, people would pile up stones as a marker of remembrance of a miracle of God. This enabled the people, when others passed by and asked about the marker, to give glory to God. I'd like to pile up some stones today, even though my miracle is small. Lately I've experienced great unrest and confusion. I've felt like the real world is approaching at the speed of light to crush me with the fist of fear and failure. I've allowed this overwhelming notion to take my eyes off of God and it has affected the remainder of my life; which easily happens when God is not your focus. I had fallen down the slippery slope.
Today God taught me an awesome lesson. When you slip and take your eyes of off him, you can't just expect to leap right back onto the straight and narrow. You have to climb out, one step at a time, with your eyes on him and your hand in his.
He gave me a great victory today. I trusted him with something little and he blew me away with his swift and loving answer. It feels good to take one step closer to God.
I look foward to piling up a lot more stones.

Challenge

Lately I've felt like there was more to life than what I was accepting. The devotion I get everyday through email from Proverbs 31 ministries really got my attention and made me realize just what my purpose is and that when my eyes are on my Lord and Savior then the little things in life lose their power over me and the greater purpose gives me great hope and joy. Check out what God shared with me this morning:

Honoring God with Your Life
By Marybeth Whalen

“It never occurs to them to say, ‘How can we honor our God with our lives, The God who gives rain in both spring and autumn and maintains the rhythm of the seasons.” Jeremiah 5:24 (NIV)

Devotion:
Last night God brought a little boy to my mind. This little boy is nothing special. He has never been on the front page of a newspaper or achieved a world record. No one recognizes his name; he isn’t a celebrity by the world’s standards. And yet, he was on my mind last night, though I’ve never met him personally. I just know about him because I read something his mother wrote years ago.

At about eight years-old, he felt burdened to start a cookie ministry for elderly people, new neighbors, and others in his life. And so, each week this little boy would make a big batch of Snickerdoodle cookies (I still remember what kind because they sounded so good), divide them into packages, pile them in his wagon and deliver them to whoever was on his list for that week. He would visit with the people and sometimes share a verse or prayer with them and be on his way. Some people heard about what he was doing and donated money to pay for the ingredients in his cookies, and he enjoyed having his very own ministry at a young age.

It has been many years since I read that, and I imagine that little boy is a young man now. I don’t have any idea what he is doing, but something tells me that he is still finding creative ways to honor God with his life. As I thought of him last night, I was struck by how flimsy my excuses must sound for not being more purposeful about ministering to others. What keeps me from reaching out to those around me—the hurting, the grieving, the sick, or the hopeless? What makes me shrug my shoulders and walk away? Why does a little boy’s cookie ministry matter? Because he used what he had and he did what he could. And I know I could stand to do the same.

We are supposed to honor God with our lives. And yet, we have a million reasons for not doing so. Money, time, and resource constraints are popular excuses—and yet, this little boy was bound by the same things. I know that even if I just bake a loaf of banana bread and take it to someone that God puts on my heart, then that is honoring God with my life. Sometimes it is in the simplest of acts that we make the biggest impact. Instead of making excuses and leaving ministry to other people, I can set out to do what I can with what I have.

Many years later this young man’s cookie ministry has served to inspire a busy woman to honor God with her life. He has no idea how impacting his example was on me. I hope he has inspired you as well.

Dear Lord, help me to act on the things You lay on my heart and not make excuses or feel silly or inadequate. Help me to see the bigger picture in the little things You call us to do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God is Mighty to Save

May the beauty of salvation embrace you, may your need for Christ capture you, and may the power of the Cross overwhelm you.

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the mysterious array of black filing cabinets. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked “Lust,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Of Men, or of God?

I've noticed lately that I worry a lot about the opinions of others. I am consumed by worry sometimes wondering if something I've done is good enough or if something I said was wrong and I constantly seek the approval of others. Not until last night, in light of this beautiful holiday, did I realize that worrying about the opinion of others is SO futile.

My honey sent me this verse last night, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."--Galations 1:10

**Side note: Speaking of my honey, he's blogging now! Check out his blog @ http://www.sweetwilliet.blogspot.com/ . (Yes, it says sweet willie T)

Back to what Jesus is doing in my life...I must admit that after I read his text, I was uber convicted. I didn't sleep very well last night battling worry. Praise this Lord that this morning I was a lot less stressed about the upcoming (in just a few hours) Christmas meal with my rents and future inlaws.

What God showed me this morning is that the reason we celebrate today is not about how great the gifts are or what the meal is like. It's all about the fact that Jesus was born and that we get to go to heaven because He lived, died, and rose again. Who cares if the soup is good or if someone already has the present you bought them? We get to spend eternity in heaven because God sent his son into this world that we might be saved. Why should I worry about what others think when the creator of the universe loved me enough to send his son to die so that I could hang out with him for the rest of eternity?

Are you trying to win the approval of men, or of God?

Texas

If you don't see posts for a while, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my blog. I'm going to be in Texas visiting the future fam from Saturday until the 22nd. Feel free to leave me some lovin! PEACE

101--my 3rd post today.

I'm a loser. This is my third post today. What else am I supposed to do when I'm sick?! Huh?!

Ok...so when I say something funny, I have to share it with the world, b/c it doesn't happen that often. My friend Allie said that I didn't have the teacher look b/c I wasn't wearing those vests with numbers and letters on them and I made her promise me that she would not let me become frumpy when I student teach next semester...then came the funny thing I said. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO FRUMP!!" I think it was funny. It might not be all that funny to you, but I made myself laugh...and laughter is the best medicine, which reminds me it's time for my meds. I'm going to kill this schtinkind cold before I go to Texas.

Oh btw...I'm going to Texas this Saturday to see Will's family. I'm sure I will post some videos from my new camera when I return! auf vida sin

The Centennial Post

This my 100th post on this blog! HOW COOL IS THAT?! I so enjoy blogging, not just for the sheer joy of writing, but for the sheer joy of sharing what God is doing in my life and what he is teaching me. The point I want to make with this particular post is this.

Anything good, any good fruit that comes from me is not of myself, but of Christ who lives in me. Without him, I am a wretched heart, living only for myself. With him, I am a changed woman, a selfless lover of the hopeless. If you just happen on this blog and wonder what kind of crazy I've been smoking, I've been infused with the Holy Spirit and I have more joy in my savior Jesus Christ now that I ever did in the 19 years of my life before I really KNEW him.

I'll leave you with this

"For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."
--II Corinthians 4:6-7

I love me when I am merely his jar of clay.

Little by Little

Mainstay "Become Who You Are"

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz you said that I would never want for anything again
But my eyes are set low
and I'm holding to the thing I know I can't keep

I keep on chasing the wrong things
and coming up empty
This isn't who I'm supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake
And I'm finding each time that you fall,
you're just becoming who you are

So it seems that I'm wrong,
cuz I keep on searching for the answers that I don't need
I know I don't need

Mmmm...there is so much truth in those lyrics. Everytime I chase something that is away from the will of God, I come up empty and wanting more. When I am in the middle of the will of God, looking to him to fill me, I could never want for me. That's something hard for me to chew on. When I am not satisfied, I am not in the will of God. When I desire more, I am not following my Lord and savior. Man...that's hard, but AMAZING.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Something else God is teaching me, when we are saved, not everything is changed all at once. I listened to sermon from Elevation church last night from their "Confessions of a Pastor" Seris. This particular sermon was about committing the same sins over and over again and Pastor Steven Furtick read the following scripture:

You may say to yourselves, "These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?" But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the LORD your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. Moreover, the LORD your God will send the hornet among them until even the survivors who hide from you have perished. Do not be terrified by them, for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God. The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.
--Deuteronomy 7:17-22

I thought that my sin was stronger than me. With this passage God showed me that He is SO much bigger than my sin and he will drive it out if I allow him to. It will not be all at once, because if I reach perfection I would not need Jesus in my life, but little by little he will send the hornets and kill the sin in my life. Don't be discouraged if you struggle with this, too. The Lord your God is perfecting you little by little. Look to him to conquer your sins. You can't do it by yourself.

Sick

Pray for me. I'm pretty sick. I have a sinus infection from hades. Pray that God uses this time that I have to be still to speak to my heart and renew my affection for him.

Something's Missing

I feel like I haven't spoke to Will very much in the past few days. We saw each other tonight for dinner with my parents and that didn't even last an hour. I'm used to having at least 30 minutes to talk with him each day and for the past few days it's been maybe 5 because of my exams and his last week of class before exams. I miss my man. REALLY bad. Ha, quite honestly a little tear is rolling down my cheek right now. (Geez, I'm a sap) But the way I feel about Will tonight got me to thinking about other things.
How does God feel when we don't spend time with him? How does his heart ache? Does he shed a tear or two when he is missing us? Just something I'm pondering on.

A Childlike Priest

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.'" Matthew 18:1-5

Jesus calls us to be like little children. He even says that we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven if we are not like them. What exactly does he mean by that? For a very long time I have been perplexed by this scripture, but today I believe that my loving future husband and priest taught me this, unbeknownst to him.

Quite honestly there are times when I look at Will and I wish that he would just act his age. I wish that he would quit goofing off and face the issue at hand instead of joking around and making light of it. I laughed out loud as I wrote that b/c I can just imagine his beautiful smile when he knows I'm angry and he wants to make me laugh (even though that usually makes me more angry at the time). Today after church, we were goofing off and I caught myself getting frustrated because I wanted him to be serious and I said, "Man, we are going to have kids just like this." And that's when it hit me. I didn't say anything to him about this God given revelation, but I just studied him the rest of the time we were together. He laughed things off. He found joy in everything. He looked at everything around him with wonder and did everything he could to help me lighten up. Lately I've realized that I've been acting like a bitter old woman. I haven't lived like a child, full of wonder and letting the little annoying things go unnoticed. Instead, the little things have struck me and taken a little piece of joy and a little piece of youth each time.

Today Will really acted as my priest without even realizing it. In Proverbs 31, a godly woman is described as being able to laugh at the days to come. Thanks to the loving, amazing man in my life, I am now learning how to laugh at the days to come and take the little things in stride. Praise God for a man who knows how to be a child.

Disclaimer: I'm not condoning immaturity. There is a time and place for sincerity and there are situations that are not laughable, but because life is fleeting, the rest should be enjoyed and experienced in awe--like a child.

God Will Speak Through Stickers, etc.

I get a devotion each day from Proverbs 31 Ministries. This was today's devotion and it really swept me off my feet. Check it out:

Sometimes when I make reference to the fact that God speaks to me, there are some people that don't quite know what to make of that statement. But, it is true. God's voice is a gentle rush through my soul or a thought that pops into my head in a way that I know it's not my own. Throughout the Bible, God spoke to His people. And I'm convinced He still does. This is the most exciting part of my adventures with God...hearing from Him, experiencing Him... everyday!

Recently I had the wonderful privilege to speak at a conference with Renee Swope. Renee and I went thinking we were going to be giving out to the ladies at the conference but God wound up giving to us in special ways as well. During Renee’s talk, she spoke about Isaiah 61 as her life verse given to her by God over ten years ago. She referred to verse 3 several times that promises God will make His people into oaks of righteousness, a display of His splendor. She said God's promise to her despite all the yuck of her past was that one day He would use her to "display" His splendor.

Toward the end of her talk, God spoke something that seemed quite strange to me. I felt God tell me to take the sticker off the sole of my shoe. I flipped my shoe over thinking it must be a price sticker. Instead, what I found took my breath away! Tucked safely into the arch of the bottom of my shoe, was an orange sticker that read DISPLAY! Instantly, the Lord spoke to my heart again and instructed me to give the sticker to Renee when she finished speaking and tell her that her life verse had been fulfilled. Today, she had truly become a DISPLAY of His splendor. She was to place the sticker in her Bible beside the Isaiah 61 verses as a reminder of God's fulfilled promise in her life. The sticker even matched Renee's orange jacket she was wearing!

Some may be skeptical that God would speak to ordinary women. Some may think it silly that God would use a sticker on the bottom of a shoe to reveal Himself. But Renee and I are absolutely convinced... from the bottom of our soles and souls!

Praise God that He has a sense of humor and he speaks to us specifically and with a love that we could never comprehend. How is he trying to speak to you today?

WOW! I love this

"Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit."
--2 Peter 1:20-21

PROPHECY NEVER HAD ITS ORIGIN IN THE WILL OF MAN. Praise God. Praise God that it is not of our own will that we speak truth in to the lives of other. Praise God that we are carried along by the Holy Spirit. Some are given the gift of prophecy even today. I'm trying to learn not to turn a deaf ear to someone who is speaking God's truth into my life "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

God's Proverbial Light Bulb

Last night @ NewSpring Student Ministry Alden spoke on the importance of God's word and understanding exactly where your relationship is with the Holy Spirit. Well, after worship we went into small groups and the girls were discussing that they had trouble with applying God's word to their life. They would take it in and take it in, but do nothing with it. At this point, God turned on the proverbial light bulb in my head. I had started a blog for the girls so that we could all write to one another and keep up with what was going on in each other's lives, but that just wasn't working out. SO **DING** went the light bulb and I suggested that I start doing a daily devotion on the blog for the girls. We were doing devotion books before we switched from Ignite (middle school ministry) to a combined ministry and the girls were loving it. Now, I get to employ some technology and love on my girl's through God's word. I'm pretty stoked about it. It's going to be an awesome form of accountability for me. Here's a link to the blog Meg's Girlz if you want to check it out.

2 Peter 1:3-11

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-11

What I took away from this:

1. God equips us with EVERYTHING we need to live according to his will...there are no excuses
   
2. To prevent being infective and unproductive, watch these areas of your life("But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."):
   *Faith
   *Goodness
   *Knowledge
   *Self Control
   *Perserverance
   *Godliness
   *Brotherly kindness
   *Love
3. He lays it out clearly before us...if we stumble it's because we are nearsighted and blind, we've forgotten that we've been cleansed from our past sins.

Just a little spiritual food to chew on. I have to admit, it's a pretty tough one to swallow for me.

God is DEFINITELY into Details

God's timing is remarkable. Last Tuesday night I was making up some work that I had neglected b/c I am a ridiculous procrastinator sometimes. I was working in the coffee shop...I don't remember why...and ended up talking to a friend from high school who is a Teaching Fellow with me--Joanna Dickerson (girl, just so you know, God used you in a BIG way). She informed me that she had heard that Palmetto Middle School had money to start a volleyball program for the past two years, but did not have any one to Coach the team. Being the lover of volleyball that I am, I HAD to find out if this was true (no offense Jo..I just wanted to make sure they were still looking).
So...Saturday I got up the courage to email the Palmetto Middle School Principal to find out if it was true. I was just expecting a short little email back sometime this week, but God came through in a BIG way.On my way back from shopping this afternoon I received a phone call from the Student Teaching coordinator--I figured that she was just calling to confirm my student teaching placement at Southwood Middle School. Much to my suprise she proceeded to tell me that I had the opportunity to student teach at Palmetto Middle School, and--according to my student teaching performance--possibly take the place of a teacher who has to leave in December AND become the new volleyball coach!
For those of you who know me well, you know that I quit volleyball after my sophomore year of college b/c I felt as if God were calling me in a new direction. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, but God is now rewarding me for that decision with many new open doors. Praise God for his timing and his faithfulness. He continuously blows me away. With that...I'm out, like pout...without the "P"

My Chains are Gone

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are goneI've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbid to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Even since giving my life to Christ, I've felt like there were times when I was living in bondage again. Lately, that's been the emotion I've had. I've felt as if something were wrong, as if the perverbial gears just weren't in synch and everything I did just felt off--especially my relationship with Will. Tonight at church I realized that I needed to be set free from my selfish desires and allow God's mercy and grace to cover me once more and surrender it all back to him again. I guess my blog yesterday was me on the brink, in need of God to step in and hold me. The last song before Perry's sermon (an unexpected Celine Dion ballad) really just blew me away and showed me that I had not been the the helper for Will that God has called me to be. The Power of Love was the song. The lyrics that really got me were these

Even though there may be times
It seems Im far away
Never wonder where I am
cause I am always by your side
cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
Ill do all that I can

And I am his lady, but I haven't done all that I can when he reaches for me. I've been standing in his way, at best. I've been begging for his attention becase I wouldn't look to my Lord and Savior to fulfill me. I need accountability and I need my God to ransom me.
Tonight I also realized that I need a really strong woman of God to be my mentor and to disciple me. I cannot look to Will to show me how to be a better woman of God. Yes, he can lead me and point me to Jesus, and he does, but he cannot demonstrate to me how to live out Proverbs 31. So, if you read this and you pray...please pray that God places a great example in my life and pray that I love my fiance the way God intended love to be. Pray that I don't ask anything of him, and that I serve him and point him to Jesus constantly. Pray that I no longer rely on myself and that my pride just melts like snow. I'm out.

Power Struggle

So, I really struggle with being submissive--submissive to God, submissive to Will, submissive to authority, submissive to truth. I struggle with being selfish. I see the world through such a limited view. Pray that God expands my view and opens my eyes to the way he sees things. Then maybe I won't struggle with letting other people take control.

God is into details...

I'm up entirely too late b/c I just finished a paper for my Victorian lit class. God really taught me a valuable lesson tonight...besides the fact that procrastination may one day be the reason why I leave this world to be with him...I learned that Satan is subtle. I always thought it was going to be obvious when Satan attacked, but tonight he snuck in really sneaky like.

Picture this scene, I had been trying to work on a paper for about two hours with a plethora of distractions when Will calls trying to be sweet and encourage me while I work. I was to a breaking point and I couldn't even concentrate on what he was saying, so I was ugly and told him that I couldn't even hear what he was saying b/c I kept rereading the one paragraph I had meagerly typed on the page. I could hear the hurt in his voice, which made me even more angry b/c I knew I was being the south end of a north bound horse.

Still, I didn't see what God was trying to teach me. I knew that the theif comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I didn't realize that he does it minute by minute. God has been trying to show me to take one minute at a time, only I didn't realize that this was why. Tonight Satan took advantage of a few hours b/c I took my minutes for granted. He stole not only my joy, but that of the person I love the most in this world by using my frustration to blind me from the joy of a moment with my loved one. Geez. I really pray that God helps me to be aware of the little things...good and bad.

Your first love?

Lately I've felt that God is calling me to something so much bigger than I can comprehend. My fiance has had the exact same feeling. We just have this huge excitement and wonder rolling within us, as if we're standing on the edge of a cliff, attached to a hand glider with the perfect wind about to lift us to flight. We are on the edge of something huge and I'm pretty pumped about it. Will feels like God may be calling him to start some kind of ministry, he's passionate about young people and football, I know I'm called to be his helper and I'm passionate about underpriveleged young people. So what is it that God is calling us to? I'm not quite sure, but after reading the pitfalls of people who are new to ministry (Young Lions) on Clayton Kings blog, I realized that I must be certain to remain in Christ and HE will guide my steps. This was one of the final pitfalls Clayton warned about:
Losing The First Love - from personal experience, I can say that all of the creativity and energy that YoungLions have penned up inside their hearts and heads can distract them from the main thing; staying connected to the Vine. In John 15, Jesus made it clear that if we remain in Him, we will bear much fruit, but apart from Him, we can do nothing. NOTHING. Young Lions must not forget that we are called first to Christ, not success or church planting or executive decision-making. He must always remain our first love.

Is He your first love?

True Freedom

This morning I had to be up bright and early to attend a Veteran's Day honorary breakfast for Teaching Fellows. The scholarship ensures that I only have to pay for books each year, so I tried not to complain much. I have to admit, when my alarm clock went off this morning and there was not a light shining through the window and the room outside my covers was freezing, my brain started formulating excuses of why I "accidentally" missed the program. Despite the bitter thoughts, I rose and got ready. When I arrived, I was still a little cynical about waking up early. Then the Veterans began arriving and my attitude started to shift. God spoke to my heart and made me realize what these men and women did so that I can be free. Then, I was reminded of what Christ did so that I can be free.
All too often those who don't believe in Christ won't accept him for fear of losing their freedom. They fear that God will take away the fun in their lives. God has been showing me lately just what it means to have freedom in Christ. When you take your eyes off of Christ for just a moment, the world creeps in and surrounds. The walls grow higher and your hope begins to shrink, but the minute you cry out to Jesus, they very second you realize that you cannot do things on your own, he rips the curtain and removes the barriers separating you from him. There is nothing like setting your eyes firmly on Jesus. Everything else just seems so small in comparison. Joys are greater, sorrow is less and Christ is above all. Praise God for the freedom we have in Jesus. Thank a Veteran for the freedom we have in this country.

Politics?

Normally, I keep out of politics because I am not very well versed in understanding how it all works; however, I am about to begin working in public schools, get married, and one day have children in public schools...I think it's time that I show interest in politics. Lately I've been researching John Edwards' plans for education. The following paragraph I found on his website made me giddy.

Make Every School an Outstanding School
Every child in America should have the chance to attend an outstanding public school that has high expectations for every child. Edwards will radically overhaul No Child Left Behind to live up to its goal of helping all children learn at high levels. The law today judges children based on cheap standardized tests, forces schools to narrow the curriculum, fails to accurately identify struggling schools, and imposes unproven cookie-cutter reforms...To build on current successes, he will help 1,000 'great' schools a year expand or start new branches. Edwards will also invest more resources for low-income children, put us on a path to fully funding special education, and raise graduation rates by creating multiple paths to graduation such as Second Chance schools for former dropouts.

He plans to RADICALLY OVERHAUL NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. I love that statement. After much research into the No Child Left Behind Act, I've drawn the conclusion that No Child Left Behind is seeking to "privatize" public schools. What happens to the children who cannot afford to transfer to the school with "highly qualified teachers" because their school failed on the basis of the national report card? They get LEFT BEHIND.
I'm not 100% sold on John Edwards yet, but I am definitely appreciative of his plan to overhauld No Child Left Behind. I've got more research to do before I make up my mind.

My God is Sovereign

Man, I am a LOUSY blogger. But, to my defense, I am a busy lady. I am a senior in college and in my last semester before I student teach, I'm planning a wedding, trying to spend enough time with my friends and my AMAZING fiance, and I'm trying my best to grow in my walk with God. Needless to say, I stay busy. Enough excuses, time to share an awesome work of God.

Four years ago next week I was a senior in high school playing in the North/South All-star volleyball game. The North/South game is played by four teams. The best seniors from the North 1A/2AA teams play the South 1A/2AA seniors and the same with the 3AAA/4AAAA teams. Funny that four years ago I was playing and this year I have been asked by an FCA representative to speak to this years All-Stars. As I was praying and listening to what God wanted to say to these girls, he really showed me that I needed to tell them what I wish someone had told me when I was in their shoes. I had some quiet time tonight and God just spoke to my heart and I filled in a detailed outline of 5 things I wish someone would have told me 4 years ago. Then God spoke to my heart again and said that I should write all of this in a letter and print it out for each girl to keep. Then he spoke to my heart again and told me to see who this years all-stars were. I knew I wouldn't recognize any names, save the ones from my hometown. When I got to the names of the two girls chosen from my high school alma mater, I wanted to drop to my knees before God and thank him for the chance to speak his truth to them. I am completely blown away by God's plan and God's timing in not only my life, but the lives of others. Praise God for his sovereignty!

My God is a God of Romance!

It's amazing how when you ask God to remove you from the equation and speak to the heart of others how he honors your sincerity and does just that...in ways that you least expect. I haven't written on my blog in a about a month and a half now, but by accident I stumbled across my own blog tonight and read this comment.

hey there. I was googling "Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life"
Proverbs 4:23 and I came across your page. After reading your blog I was very amazed at your age and how much love and devotion your life has for GOD. I am about your age and I must say your blog has really shown me that it doesnt matter how old you are, we as a individual can all be a ambassador for Christ and you have truly inspired me to LET GOD be the main source of my happiness and definitely the keeper of my heart. THANK YOU but definitely THANK GOD.

I wanted to write this person back and say thank you for the spectacular encouragement, but they didn't have a contact on their profile, so ohjaneeee...thanks for allowing God to use you to build up a sister in Christ. I'm blown away by how God uses little details to do things that he knows will take my breath away over and over again. He IS the God of romance!

The Rang Story

For those of you who read the last post and wanted the engagement story...here it is. You're welcome.

Background info:
1. Will and always go to this plantation called Redcliffe about five minutes away from his house, when we go to see his parents in North Augusta. When we are there we always climb the same Magnolia tree and just sit and talk and have a blast being kids for a little while
2. We've been talking about carving our names in this tree for about a month now
3. In the book of Ruth, Boaz places a blanket around Ruth to show that he wants to marry her
4. Will and I flirted for the very first time at a youth event for Ignite called FNL

Without further adieu, I give you...the story:
Saturday morning, August 4th we woke up and decided that today was the day that we would carve our names in the Magnolia tree. I was wearing a white tshirt Will's mom had bought me and Will was wearing his black FNL shirt. I thought it was a little strange that he was wearing black knowing that we were about to go out into 100 degree heat, but hey...he's a boy--he doesn't know any better (JK he's brilliant and he had a reason, as you can see in #4 from the info above...however, I was clueless). Moving on, around 10:30 am we drove over to Redcliffe and made the trek to the Magnolia grove. We climbed the tree and in true country girl and boyscout fashion we carved our names in the tree. It was blazing hot by the time we finished so we decided to try and find a place to sit in the shade, but there was a bride wondering all over the area around the plantation home getting her wedding photos taken, so we decided to drive around to the main gate. The view facing the main gate is about 500 yards of dirt road leading to the plantation home, lined with Magnolia trees. On the left side of the road there is bench about 100 yrds from the gate. Well, we walked over to the bench and sat discussing how perfect and fun the day had been so far. Will asked me to hold that thought that he had to get something from the car. So, I'm thinking that he's getting his camera or something like that, but he starts walking back with this long box wrapped in silver paper and white bows. My mind races and it seems like it takes him an eternity to get back. He told me that he had a gift for me, and I opened the box to find a blanket which he took out and wrapped around me saying, "I want to wrap my blanket around you." and left in the box was a road sign with his last name, and when I saw this he said, "I want you to have my last name" he gets down on one knee, "Will you be my wife?" I squeal, kiss him, and then I said YES! We went back to his house and my parents and sister were waiting there along with my favorite flowers and five bridal magazines his mom had bought for me. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day! "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." Eph.3:20a How GREAT is our God!!!!

Love--the way God intended

Wow...it's been a while...and I have HUGE news. I'M ENGAGED! Yep, Will popped the question and I said "yes"! I'll post another blog after this one with the story, but for now the important story at hand is to explain how awesome God's love is and how God showed me clearly that Will was specifically designed with me in mind. This is going to be a pretty personal blog, but I just want to share how love is when it is the love that I believe God intended when he created Adam and Eve.
Two nights ago I hit a spiritual wall. I realized that I had been taking baby steps away from God since the day that Will proposed (August 4th). Satan had successful distracted me with the happiness I had found in the engagement and the stress of getting ready to go back to school. All week I drove out and back to Anderson to paint the house I am going to be living in this semester. I kept busy--devoting little or no time to quiet time with God. Saturday night, I broke.
I can't explain how it happened but I realized that the look in Will's eyes was not the same. His reactions to me and his warmth toward me had changed. It seemed as if he were looking at a stranger. This broke my heart, and brought me to realize that I hadn't been myself since he put the ring on my finger. Since the beginning of our relationship we have done our best to keep God at the center of our relationship--giving Him the glory for every great moment and praising Him in the storms--and we have been able to tell when the other was being lazy in their walk with God. Saturday night is when I realized just how God has used Will's love for me as a thermometer measuring my walk with Him. When I'm on fire for Jesus, Will is constantly romancing me and showering me with love.
Thank God that Will is not in love with who I am--without Christ I am nothing. Will is in love with the woman God made me when I invited Jesus to live in my heart. I prayed for this before I even met Will. I prayed that God would mold my future husband's heart in such a way that he would not love me by myself, but that he would be in love with Christ in me. I had to wait 21 years and make many mistakes before God placed Will in my life, but I would do it all over again to receive the prize that I have in my future husband.

I'm back...for now.

Hey stranger. I've been busy. Sorry I haven't had time to write. Hopefully I can make up for that today. I've been working for the YMCA as a summer camp counselor for the past month and a half. I have learned so much about kids and discipline. I have no fear about teaching now. If I can handle these kids, I can handle any class that comes my way. I've also learned a lot about loving the "unlovable." It seems that the kids that everyone else wants to push away come running to me. I love it. It makes me want to be more like Jesus.
I took the Praxis II content exams and passed. YAY I'm that much closer to becoming a teacher. I'm still considering graduate school. I could go straight into teaching, at a middle school, and have the classes for certification paid for...or I could go to grad school and more than likely go in debt. Hmmm...still debating that one-surprisingly. I know that I am called to teach middle school, and I will do whatever it takes to teach it.
God is great, my life is beautiful. And I'm loved by a man that loves Jesus. What more could I ask for? Hopefully more to come soon. Stay tuned. For now, I have to go get ready for a wedding. Which seems there's been an abundance of this summer. Peace.

I Surrender All

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all;

All to thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,

Humbly at His feet I bow,

Worldly pleasures all forsaken,

Take me Jesus, take me now.

This is what God is speaking to my heart this morning. This needs to be my daily attitude. I need to constantly open my hands and let go of the things that I hold on to so tightly. Perhaps one of the most difficult things for me is to let someone else take control of anything in my life; however, I think the creator of the universe can handle it. I'm out like those worldly pleasures...all forsaken.

Service, please!

One more thing...my boyfriend and I want to spend some of our free Saturday mornings serving people. We have decided that God has blessed us with so much and that we want to give back, together. We also feel like that is a good way to keep our hearts in the right place, striving to learn more about the heart of God. So, if you have any ideas of places that we can serve, or people who need service, PLEASE comment! Thank ya kindly!

Where is the Love?

Immodesty isn't just about causing our Christian brothers to stumble; it's about our craving for the emotional rush we receive when we know we're being noticed.
I struggle with this. I was checking out Christianity Today online because lately, I've been struggling with a need for attention. I haven't been taking that need to my FATHER. After reading an interview with author Shannon Elthridge (author of Every Young Woman's Battle; which I want to read REALLY badly), I realized that God is the only way to satisfy my soul's longing for love. No earthly relationship can fulfill that need. As long as I am looking to others around me to satisfy that need, I'm going to be greatly disappointed--and I'm going to hurt them in the process. Expecting an earthly relationship to satisfy a need for the love of God is like asking a Penguin to run 65mph and catch an antelope. No man was created to fulfill that longing. This is just another way that God is calling me to pursue Him. I realize that my boyfriend, my parents, nor my friends can supply the attention that I need. With that, I'm out...I'm going to go get a little lovin' from my Savior.

Bring on the Rain

Last night I watched Facing the Giants for the first time. I'll admit, at the beginning of the movie I was a little distracted by all of the poor reviews I had heard. I was expecting to be bored and most definitely unmoved. However--despite the predictability--I was really impacted by the message of the movie. It's something I've heard a million times, but to see it applied to a life was pretty awesome: Nothing is impossible with Christ. Besides the awesome message of the movie, there was a story that was shared that I cannot get off of my mind. It goes a little something like this:
There were two farmers and both of them hadn't experienced rain in three years. All that time, they prayed. Yet, one of the farmers prepared his fields for the rain. Who do you think God blessed with the rain? The man who merely prayed, or the main who had the faith to prepare for it?
Now I just have to figure out what my fields are and how to prepare them.

Have I got it?

I made her pretty and not beautiful,

Because I knew her heart,

And knew she would be vain...

I wanted her to search our her heart,

And to learn that it would be

Me in her

That would make her beautiful...

And it would be Me in her

That would draw friends to her.

A friend of mine gave me a poem with several stanza's like this based on verses throughout scripture that speak to the heart of a woman. This one comes from 1 Peter 3:3-5a "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

Honestly, I've been struggling with my self-image a lot. I've been an athlete all of my life up until a year ago. My body was strong and thin. Now, I've got jiggly places I didn't know could jiggle (I give you permission to laugh there). So, while I have an awesome man in my life who is constantly reassuring me, there is a void; a void that is drawing me back to God for my reassurance. I have not been asking my Savior the question, "Am I lovely?" If I had, I would know that in his sight, I am captivating. I am his daughter whom he takes delight in. I've been listening to the voices of the world around me when I should be listening to my God who loves me. For any other women who struggle with this, I understand. Check out these lyrics by Barlowgirl.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?

'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am

I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

So sorry you won't define me

Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me

That I'm less than what I should be?

Who are you? Who are you?

I don't need to listen

To the list of things I should do

I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection

I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me

And to Him I have beauty beyond compare

I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

With that, I'm out like the world's standards...who needs them anyway?

The Life and Death of an Expectation

So, I'm a blog slacker. BUT, this is all about to change! I am HOME for the summer and I pledge to take more time to muse on things and share with the world here in my newly titled blog, Treasures in Jars of Clay. Since I've been gone for far too long, heres' a quick update on me. Last week I went to Texas for a week to meet the rest of the boyfriend's family...it was fun, stressful, and an overall learning experience--one that I may never forget, for various reasons. This summer I will be working at the YMCA in Easley as a summer camp counselor with 8 & 9 year olds (YAY for songs, games, and spirit sticks--oh my). I've been car-less for the past few days and it's driving me nuts, but luckily I get Old Red back in a few hours. I think that's about it for now.
All the house keeping is finished, on to the musing.
Two days ago I had a devotion that is quickly changing the rest of my life. I've always had expectations and most of the time my expectations are met...but when they aren't, hell hath no fury like Hurricane Megan. My devotion was titled, "The Life and Death of an Expectation" It set the scene by explaining an expectation like an empty blob. As the expectations are met, and the blob is filled, it's not given a second thought--as if it is expected to be filled. We take our fulfillment for granted. The devotion went on to explain that when expectations are not met, "all we see left is the part left unfinished" and "we" begin to feel disappointment. Rather than getting motivated by this disappointment, "we get mad at ourselves, at God, and at people who were part of the plan in our expectations..." OUCH. This hit me pretty hard. Each day I have expectations and I get frustrated when things don't go the way I had planned. I was totally oblivious to the fact that my expectations affect my attitude daily. Reading further, these questions really got me:
Are you grateful for each fulfillment...truly grateful?
Do you place a lot of your hopes for the next event in what has already happened?
Do you still know that God is working His own plan out and that he doesn't need your help?
These are things that I know...but it doesn't hurt to be reminded every once in a while to be truly grateful as God fulfills his will for our lives. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."--Proverbs 19:21 With that, I'm out like my frustration--God's in control!

Hold out for what is real...

WOW...it's been a while, yet again! Please forgive me! I've been super busy--had the flu, in and out of town for the past three weeks--sheer crazyness. But, I am here now NEVER FEAR! Anywho, I just read something in Perry's (pastor of NewSpring Church) blog that moved me. The blog was about True Love and how America has chosen to distort it. I couldn't help but be touched by this because I have never known true love until now and I feel I need to share this with everyone. I don't want any one to have to go through what I went through to be where I am now. The blog was amazing in it's entirity, but this is the one section grabbed me,
Singles–my challenge to you is HOLD OUT for what is REAL! If he’s trying to get in your pants…or your relationship is based on something other than true love–then you may have what Hollywood has…vomit…and the pain that it will bring will leave a scar.
Do not be tempted to sell yourself short. You are a son or daughter of the King. If you were a parent and you were going to give your child something, wouldn't you want to give them the best. That's what your heavenly Father wants for you. Don't settle for the pain that a Hollywood "love" can cause you. What God has in store for you will blow you away, it won't be peachy 100% of the time, but when God is the center of your relationship, I can assure you that it is the most rewarding experience you could ever imagine. I'll step down from my soap box now...and get into bed. I need lots of energy for tomorrow. I LOVE SUNDAYS!!!! Peace.

What a difference...

Today my roommate from freshmen year is coming to visit from GA. I haven't seen her in almost two years. She is married and has a six month old son named Gabe. It's amazing how much can happen in just two short years.
Two years from now I will be in my own classroom, about to finish my first year as a teacher. I might be engaged. I will most likely be living on my own or with roommates. Two years doesn't seem like a very long time, but think back over the last two years. How much has your own life changed?

In two years time my life has changed drastically because of the change Christ has made in me. I found my self-worth, my calling, and my mission in my savior. What a relief it is to know where I am going and what I was created for. I was created to play an irreplacable role (big theme in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge--if you want to know more about being a woman...or men, if you want to know more about the heart of a woman, read this book). I was created to love middle schoolers, from youth ministry to the classroom. Lord knows, someone has to love them. It's a hard job, I realize this every time I teach a lesson at my field placement, but I always did enjoy a challenge. With that, I'm out like shout without the sh-.

Yes, this is # 2 for today--and that's ok!

Do you ever feel burnt out? Even with the things you truly love? This was the case with me. This year I have been a member of FCA leadership and recently, my flame for this position has been dying. I can't go into detail about the reason my flame was snuffed, but it was. I told our current prez that I wouldn't be returning to FCA next year about two weeks ago. All this leading up to the events of tonight.
Tonight at our FCA meeting we were voting for next year's Prez and VP, it was truly awesome to see the passionate hearts and ideas from those who were candidates. Passion is very important to me.
A little background info before I proceed. I grew up in a methodist church, I came to know Christ at age six, but I didn't know what it meant to have a relationship with God for 13 years, even after I was baptized at age 16. My spiritual "dance" as I like to call it--check out my blog from last July "The Dance" for further explanation--with God taking the true lead in my life happened October 24, 2005 at Anderson College (at the time) FCA. Thus, my passion for this ministry, I've seen it at work.
Back to the voting. After Cida Handal was interviewed, it was apparent that she has a remarkable passion for lost athletes. Trying to emphasize that to the other leaders, I began sharing my own experience with leadership--and I wept. Those who know me know that I DO NOT CRY. I am the strong one, I am the one who carries the weight of everyone else and unloads it somehow without entertaining the help of others. Tonight, my passion poured out in front of my fellow leadership. While my cheeks burned with embarassment and my pride leaked along with the saline from my tear ducts, I rediscovered my love for the ministry of FCA.
So, I've got a lot to pray about. God has blessed me with several options lately. I just pray that He blatantly leads my heart where I can most effectively grow His kingdom. With that, I'm out like the moon--what a BEAUTIFUL night!

SURPRISES

I hate/love surprises. Not knowing what is going to happen consumes me. I was the kid who searched the house from top to bottom for Christmas presents. I ransacked closets, climbed into attics, and pillaged every nook and cranny of the house until I found them. If someone tells me that they have a surprise for me, I do everything in my power to figure out what it is before they tell me. It's an obsession.
So, yesterday I received a phone call from Lindsey Owens, our youth minister's assistant. She set up a meeting for me and Alden and Andrew Sentell (also on staff) for Wednesday at 1:00. Problem is, she didn't tell me what it is about. I asked her, "Do you know what it's about?" She answered with an enthusiastic, "Yeeeeeessssss." Then I countered with, "Is is a surprise?" Her touché, "A BIG surprise!" Ok, at this point, I'm itching to know. I still have to wait until tomorrow to find out what the meeting is about. AHHHHH! It's killing me! Funny thing is, Will and I are reading through Matthew and I remembered this verse in the book. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 6:34 I love how God speaks an answer directly to your heart. I think He kind of snickers and shakes His head when he does it. With that, I'm out like my deoderant...I might want to do something about that.

The Road No Longer Broken

At the request of a few friends, I am returning to the blog world. I didn't realize how long I had been away. This semester has completely consumed me. Between class and homework, leadership positions on campus, maintaining friendships, and enjoying my boyfriend--I've been spread fairly thin. Positively spread thin, though. I am so blessed by the joy of the things God is trusting me with. Today I realized that God is trusting me with small things now so that He can trust me with greater things later (not that what I'm doing now is not great).
I know that my calling is middle school students, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Right now, I'm a junior English/Secondary Ed. major with hopes of teaching middle school and I work with the most BALLER (this word means stellar, phenomenal, etc.) middle school ministry in the world--Ignite--through NewSpring Church as a small group leader. Some may call me crazy...I just think I'm out of my mind for Jesus. I LOVE middle schoolers.
Also, God has blessed me with a BALLER relationship with an amazing man of God--I like to call him "God's Will." This relationship has been so beneficial to my walk with God. Before Will, I struggled with realizing my worth in a world the demoralized women. Now, I feel blessed to be a woman. He is constantly challenging me and encouraging me. I'm so sure that God has entrusted me with this relationship because He is preparing me for even more in the future.
These things may seem small, but I know that God has me where I am right now for a reason. I'm so excited to see where the next turn leads on this road...that is no longer broken!